I have been meaning to write a post about my thoughts on Owen’s birth… With our intro of Owen I went through some of my thoughts… but now that Ive had a few weeks to think about things and REMEMBER things :) I thought I would share some of the highs and lows of the NATURAL birth experience I had with Owen.
Going into this labor I was fully prepared to “attempt” a natural birth. I had experienced TWO previous births with an EPIDURAL and for some strange reason I really desired to “see if I could do it” without.
Back in Oct 2009 I photographed my 1st birth for a young lady… and after seeing her at just age 16 deliver a baby over 8lbs NATURALLY, I just knew I had to at least try.
With my 1st child (Caleb) I had the WORLDS STRONGEST EPIDURAL lol… seriously… that thing was so strong I couldnt even wiggle a toe… and was numb up to my ribs. It was insane. It didnt even FEEL like I was in labor with all that pain killer.. which wasnt AWFUL but at the same time it didnt feel RIGHT either.
I had to have lots of IV fluid with Caleb. I also had GROUP B Strep with Caleb … so I had antibiotics pumped into me… as well as had to have a catheter due to the inability to walk after the epidural. Was just a lot of medical STUFF going on… that I did not understand. I was also pumped full of PITOCIN which is prob why I couldnt stand but an hour of contractions before feeling like I was going to die.
Caleb was born a healthy 7lbs 11oz though and thats all that ultimately matters…
With my 2nd birth (Taite) I really wanted to TRY and do it without the epidural… but never did my home work on it… and went in pretty ignorant abt things again. Yet with him I made it to around 6cm without anything… and then at that point the nurse came in… said “If you want the epidural now is the time to get it…” and I caved out of fear that I couldn’t do it.
Taites Epidural was FANTASTIC THOUGH! It was very mild and I was still able to move my legs… it was just enough numbing to knock off the contractions yet not SO much that I couldnt feel when they’d come. I did not require any antibiotics that time around either (I did not have group B strep with Taite) and my labor progressed well enough that I never required a catheter.
Over all Taites birth was THE EASIEST and most pleasant. Taite also was my smallest weighing in at 6lbs 8oz and only 19 inches long. He also didnt cause me any stitches :) like Caleb and Owen. Within an hour or so of having Taite I felt totally NORMAL and was up and moving around like nothing had ever happened. It was a FANTASTIC birth experience…
But I still questioned myself and wondered “could I have done it without that epidural?!”
So… here I was pregnant again with a 3rd baby… and FULLY DETERMINED “NO EPIDURAL!!“ Of course I had to get this determination with the HARDEST of my pregnancies… and the BIGGEST of my children.
I think I did things backwards :) I should of had TAITE naturally and Owen with the epidural hah…
So what was it like?
My contractions woke me up yet again at 2:30 or so in the morning on March 19th. For me this wasnt uncommon. I had contractions for a solid month off and on with the pregnancy… I honestly had no idea half the time if I was in labor or not… it was one of those things that I knew I had to wait for either my water to break or til I was noticing a big difference in the pain level of the contractions.
So at 2:30am I get up to CLOCK things… The intensity of the contraction was stronger than it had been.
Around 4am I decided this was it and I needed to make the decision to wake Travis… I did and by 4:30am we were out of the house and on our way to the hospital.
The hospital for us was a solid 45 minutes away (if you drove the speed limit)… so we knew it was better to go early than wait it out at home.
Our neighbor Mrs. Madeline came over and stayed at the house with the boys (who were still asleep obviously when we left).
I tell you driving to the hospital IN REAL LABOR is not fun. I never realized HOW BUMPY the road was until that ride.
We got to the hospital around 5am (yeahhhh we sped slightly)… having contractions every 3-5 minutes apart… fairly strong but tolerable.
They checked me when I arrived and I was ONLY 3cm. They then hooked me up to a monitor to clock the contractions and baby… after about 45 minutes they said I could stay :) that I was in fact IN LABOR.
I then asked if I could walk around… and if all possible could I not be connected to an IV… they said that was fine. So I got up at that point and Travis and I then proceeded throughout the hospital walking.
I must say I felt really odd walking around in a hospital gown :) and having to stop and lean against Travis or a wall to breathe through contractions. I have never experienced that form of laboring before. With my other two I was always bound to a bed with cords and tubes hooked up to me.
Travis and I walked around for prob an hour? I forget… but it seemed like a while. We then made our way back to the room to have my midwife check to see if any progress was being made. I was feeling contractions coming closer and stronger… so I knew something had to be coming along.
I forget what time it was but I think around 6:30 or 7am my midwife checked and I was around 5cm… at that point I really started to question if I could do things… the contractions were getting extremely strong! I stayed on my feet as long as I could… leaned on a chair, rocked back and forth and even used a birthing ball to sit on at one point. Things were moving really fast! Although during the moment the time seemed to go on forever.
The midwife then told me that if I was unsure of things that I needed to at least get FLUID into me in case I did want the epidural… because without that fluid I couldnt even get it later if I wanted.
I remember saying “I don’t know” 100 x and really meant it... but figured there was no harm in getting the fluid… and at that point I did ask to get some NU BANE to help me relax some in between contractions.
To those who have never had NU BANE. It basically makes you kind of groggy… but you FEEL EVERYTHING!! I remember having the pain of a contraction but as soon as it was over… my body felt warm and I was able to relax..
NU BANE by no means makes the contractions any less painful… they were just as strong with it.
After they gave me the NU BANE (a half dose – I requested less since medication seems to affected me stronger than most) the midwife asked if I wanted her to break my water… she said it would speed things along, I responded,..
“I don’t knowwww.”
again… I really did not know what I wanted to do. All I knew was I didnt want to fold and get the epidural but I just did not know what I could handle.
She did end up breaking my water and WOW…. after that it was like TORTURE MY UTERUS time lol… it was wild how fast the contractions came. I didnt have a second to catch my breathe… My friend Kelly later talked to me abt the time frame you have during “transition phase of labor” and no wonder… those contractions were SO LONG and so close together you really didnt have a chance to compose yourself.
At that point I really began to doubt myself. Even with that NU BANE there was no relief AT ALL.
Within an hour of having my water broke I went from 5-6cm to 9cm! I then began to feel urges to push.. but was SCARED TO DEATH thinking about it.
With my other two birth experiences I never had worries of FEELING PAIN when that baby’s head came out… I knew that I was going to be NUMB at that point and it wouldnt be “but so bad...” but with this birth I knew as things got closer to “his entrance” that I was going to feel EVERY SINGLE THING.
I remember thinking in my head “I CANT DO THIS!” but there was no turning back, I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO DO IT.
I remember the nurses holding my legs up asking me to grab my ankles and I just felt defeated and so weak that I couldnt even hold my own legs up.
I mean even with my two epidural births I held my own legs up! I couldnt even feel my legs with those yet was still able. It was just bizarre to me how unable I felt during this labor (at that point).
Travis said it was funny (well not at the time but later) that during that time I would yell “WHATS MY LEG DOING? WHATS IT DOING, GET MY LEG!” or something along those lines :)
I then remember the midwife told me to push…. I then thought “I hope I dont pee on her.” LOL and I remember during all my other labors I NEVER PEE’d on anyone … but well.. I SURE DID WITH THIS ONE and as I pee’d and couldnt even control it LOL I kept saying “IM SORRY!! IM SORRY I PEE’D ON YOU!” LOL AND then screaming hahaha… Its funny to me now but at that time I felt mortified that I just pee’d in someones face lol and in front of my friend Kelly!
Did I just admit I pee’d on someone in labor?
“I’m being transparent here :)”
So yea… the pushing stage for me…
NOT FUN and VERY DIFFICULT.
The mid wife and nurse did reassure me “its normal to pee in labor” :) didn’t make me feel better but at least im not the only one peeing on people during that point.
People say its easier to push without an epidural… because you can FEEL things more.. but for me it was WAY HARDER TO PUSH WITH OUT IT. I was so incredible tense that I just could not relax… and to add to this I was just exhausted.
They had me pushing laying down and after like 25 minutes of this the midwife realized that Owen was turned a certain way that was causing him not to come down… (thats why I had horrid back labor) and so they then put me in a SQUAT position (with a bar to hold).. which did help… but by that point I was even more exhausted… I physically did not have the strength left to push.
I remember thinking over and over “I can’t… I just can’t…”
And at that point they had like 10 people telling me I could… and then the OBGYN rushing in due to Owens heart dropping and my excessive screaming? Im not sure what resulted in the OB having to come in and take over… but apparently it was something that my midwife couldn’t do.
The OB was fantastic though… I could not of asked for a better hospital staff… the nurses were great, my midwife was incredible (she did not leave my side the entire labor!). During those final pushes the OB then had to use the vacuum to help get Owen out… I had run out of steam and needed that assistance… and was thankful it only took one use of that thing and a final push to get him out.
They then rushed Owen over to that little newborn station… never asked Travis to cut the cord… due to the fact Owens cord was around his neck and I guess came out a little blue? Im not sure but it was the sort of situation that required immediate attention from the nurses.
Owen screamed immediately after being born though :)
He had LOTS OF LUNG POWER… and out of all my babies he cried the most hehe…
As soon as he was born I remember saying “Im getting an epidural with the next one!” and people in the room were like “THE NEXT ONE?!” :) but seriously… that is the 1st thing that came to my mind….
WHY ON EARTH DID I DO THIS WITHOUT IT hahaha…
Do I regret not getting an epidural?…
mmmmm…
Id say KIND OF.
I am glad I did it without it to experience what a natural birth was like.. but at the same time the recovery from this labor was my hardest… I was so swollen from the hard labor and vacuum… it was not fun recovering from… I had a hard time walking as well… which is bizarre to me… but my legs were like noodles… I think my body was just exhausted to the max.
But at the same time… it was nice not having to worry about the epidural not taking correctly… or a catheter…. or any other issues you may get with an epidural.
All in all…
If we do have a 4th some day…
Im on the fence about doing another Natural Birth :)
I think if my pregnancy the 4th time around goes a little smoother than this last time… then I MIGHT consider it. I really think my “lack of ability to stay active” this pregnancy really affected my stamina and ability to do as much during labor. I also think the fact the Dr’s wouldnt STRIP MY MEMBRANES sooner… didnt help either. I honestly believe had they done it at 38 weeks it would of helped some… since Owen would of been a wee bit smaller and easier to deliver.
So for me.. I think it will be one of those “play it by pregnancy” decisions :)
I know now I WONT DIE without the epidural :) but I also learned that its EXTREMELY EXHAUSTING and hard to do it naturally… and that honestly all that really matters is that baby is born safe and healthy… it does not matter if you have your baby WITH all the pain killers, with a c-section or even at home…
Having your baby natural does not make you any more of a woman… although I will admit I do have a sense of empowerment that I actually was able to do it :)
All the pictures posted in this post were taken during my labor with Owen. You can view the LABOR SLIDE SHOW HERE.
Also to those curious the time difference between my 3 labors.
With Caleb I went into the hospital at 1am and had him the next day at 5:14pm.
With Taite I went in at 2pm and had him at 11:49pm.
With Owen I went into the hospital at 5am and had him at 11:25am.
So by far THIS WAS THE SHORTEST of all my birth experiences… and I really do think it was because he was LATER than all my other babies and because I didnt get the epidural… and moved a lot more, it progressed things WAY FASTER.
Girl, I say get the epi! hahaha. I’ve done the back labor thing and it hurts! I think if you didn’t have back labor with Owen his birth would have been a piece of cake. Regular labor is EASY!
Aliyah = back labor without epi.
Selah = regular labor, completely natural
Jonny = back labor WITH EPI
and probably no matter what kind of labor I have with the next one (if we have a next one!) will be with an epi :)
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Very transparent!!!
I really think understanding the different stages of labor makes one “fear” the pain less and understand more what is going on…. not that it lessens the pain, but that you realize that the pain is accomplishing something and you are encouraged that your labor is progressing.
Umm, is labor fun without an epidural… um, NO! LOL!!! Only my MOm likes labor:) Although she has a point that it lasts less than 24 hours versus the trials of training and raising them…. what 24 years…. LOL!!
you did a great job!
And I’m totally in agreement that the BEST labor is the one that produces a healthy baby and mommy… there is no “award” for those who can do it “naturally” b/c honestly in the BIGGER picture it’s NOT the most important detail of being a parent!
And there is NO doubt that your recovery was from a HARD pregnancy and being exhausted in labor. Chris (#2) was my easiest delivery and i know it was because I went into labor well-rested and knowing what to expect and how to work with contractions and not fight them.
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Thanks for sharing all the details of Owen’s birth story! I loved reading about it and it was really helpful as I prepare to give birth to my little one in August! I am planning on having a natural birth also, so it was great hearing about your whole experience. Thanks for being so transparent!
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I’m glad you were able to honestly reflect on how you feel about Owen’s birth. Natural birth is no walk in the park :) I have to agree with Travis’ post about the curse shortly after Owen was born. The pain is part of the curse, but working through it is an amazing blessing!
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Great birth story, I always like hearing them!
I have had both my previous kids totally natural, and am doing this one the same. I definitly noticed a difference between my frist two, and I believe it was the amount that I prepared for them that was the difference. With my first, I practiced my breathing/positions a lot more. With my second, I didn’t really prepare a whole lot because I thought to myself “I am doing this after only 15 months, so I should remember it all!” So in that case, I hadn’t done enough research and practiced…so I was overwhelmed. I felt I was able to cope a lot more the first time around (my labour was 18 hours the first time and 5 the next) because of the prep. I put in.
This time around I have become a research maniac! lol So I feel that I’m def. way more prepared than even the first time around with various ways to cope and get through the labour experience.
So glad you shared your birth experience and glad everything went well and Owen is healthy :)
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Very good birth story. It’s so different for every person. I know for me – IF I had to do it all over again I would do natural birth every time, as I healed faster. (IF meaning I have had a tubal and wouldn’t change that even if I could.)
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Our birth stories are so very similar! Thanks for sharing it in more detail, but wow, it so very much like mine! I can’t believe our 3rd babies took so long to find their way out! I was only 4 cm when I arrived and was EXHAUSTED when it came time to push, I really did not think I could do it. If I were in a hospital I might have been begging someone to just cut him out!! In reflection, I would probably go all natural again, and at home. But if you were to ask me just after or during labor, I would have told you there was NO WAY I would go natural a 3rd time :)
My story…. http://mommeemarybeth.blogspot.com/2010/03/epic-birth-of-silas-avery.html
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I’m so determined to NEVER have an epidural…gosh, those things scare me more than natural child birth FOR SURE!!!!! I like being fully aware of what my body is doing – and going through natural child birth the second time was sooooo much easier than the first – because you know the signs your body is showing before things start to happen, so you’re always one step ahead of the game. Its a beautiful thing, and I actually enjoy labor (is that possible?!!). I think its amazing what my body has to go through to give us our child. Aaaaw-mazing.
Good for you for going natural. Its no walk in the park – but it feels good to say you’ve done it, hey?
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Oh…and I had excruciating back labor with both labors and made it through. Its all about the postion you’re in, and breathing to get through those “back labor” contractions. They SUCK…BIG TIME!! But it can be done without an epi…
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i never knew people could pee during labor…i’d heard of pooping but not peeing…
i hope that happens to me some day =]
thanks for sharing your story! i think that the whole sense of empowerment is the motivation behind having a natural childbirth…and i’m glad you got to feel that sense!
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Thanks for sharing. I too had a natural birth with shocking back labour and ended up with a vacuum to assist delivery because I was so tired as I’d spent two hours turning him from posterior to anterior and then had nothing left to actually push him out with.
When I tell people about my labour they are shocked that I did it all without drugs. I think even my midwives, who advocate natural births, were surprised I did it. Especially when they measured his head (it was so big it was over the 97% percentile).
I don’t regret doing it naturally though and at the time, pain relief didn’t even cross my mind (I think because I had pysched myself up to do it without them) but as soon as it was over I remember thinking to myself – This is why women have epidurals – lol.
Not sure what I’ll do for my next one but I think I may be a little more open to my options.
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I am SO impressed by you! SO amazing.
There isn’t enough money in the world that could convince me to do a natural birth! LOVVVE me some epidurals!! However I probably COULD do it since I tend to pop babies out in just a few hours. But its so much more enjoyable when its PAIN FREE!!
Congrats again on sweet baby boy Owen. :) CAN’T WAIT to meet him in June, and see your pretty face!!
Love you. <3
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CORRECTION!
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…whoops. didn’t mean to make this two comments.
what i meant was that i hope i got pee’d on as a midwife…i would really prefer to not pee while giving birth =P
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thanks for being honest about your birth experiences and helping women to understand all sides of the coin. More often than not, women that choose a natural birth have an air of elitism and attitude that they are better than others. You have not shown that and have been honest in your experience! I
had absolutely no control over my daughter’s birth and while it was somewhat traumatic, it produced a healthy and wonderful little girl and that’s what I wanted !
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I loved the post! I had a natural childbirth, but did have demoral (it must be like Nu Bane because I could totally feel all the pain, just helped me relax between contractions) and the lovely back labor too! For some relief of back labor I got in the shower with the birthing ball, got on my knees with my upper chest leaning (and rolling) on the ball with my back in the water spray – it was probably the most helpful for me :) Thanks for the honesty of your post – a lot of women glamorize the whole natural child birth, but it’s messy, and incredibly difficult with hard choices!
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Wow, I’m sorry it was so hard for you! I did this one all natural and I thought it was so much easier. It was just so much shorter and I think I was able to relax more since I wasn’t at the hospital. It was more intense pain, but for less time since I had basically like 6 hours of labor instead of 36 (and only 6 with the epi that first time).
So… it might not be so hard if you did it natural again. :) just sayin’!
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Yes pee and poo during labor us very normal :-) And you were not the only one!
Owen was posterior (so yes does have a lot of back labor because of it) and it is the way much more harder to push (regardless of the size of the baby ~ because the head of the baby does not apply the pressure where it should be making the descend much harder)
But you did it, great job :-)
But now that he came out and was a bit bigger and made his way the next baby might be a bit more easier to push out :-) you could say he made the door wider for baby #4 LOL
thanks for sharing!
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I wonder if you would have been exhausted either way that you went! That is one big baby for your size! lol Maybe if the next one is smaller, it would be different?
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I am proud of you that you decided for a natural birth. I had both of my girls without an epidural. The difference was that I had to be induced the two times, and that makes the delivery more painful. I was able to tolerate the contractions on Sara but with Ingrid the pain was horrible. I heard that contractions get harder and harder with the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th child. I just prayed that if I have a 3er child that this baby comes on time and I would be able to tolerate the pain with no epidural one more time. Have a blessed Mother’s Day. Giovanna
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Wow! What a wonderful account full of details! Thank you for being so candid and sharing. While I’m not pregnant nor do I have any children, I was curious to read this post to arm myself with more information when that day comes. Your post actually made me laugh at a few points too.
Every experience is so unique and I always enjoying hearing how different each birth story is.
You are blessed!
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Hi, Drea,
Actually just ran across your cute blog today via marigoldroad.com. I really enjoyed reading this, thank you for sharing. With my first 2 I had epidurals & here I am pregnant with my 3rd baby. I’ve wondered…should I try the natural thing? My closest friends have had theirs that way. But both of my epidural experiences were GREAT–I could feel when to push, even before the machine showed a contraction. And with my first, it was a 16 hour labor & with my second she was face up—the nurse told me she’s seen women writhe in pain when the baby turns to face down during the birth. Anyways, all that to say that I know the Lord was gracious to me in both of my births & I’m so grateful I had epidurals. Thank you for sharing your experience because it’s given me insight into my “wonderings” about whether or not it’s “important” for me to experience birth the natural way.
Thanks & God bless,
Jill
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Thanks for sharing your story. I have been wanting to share mine, but never actually have gotten around to it. I delivered all 4 of mine naturally and though difficult it was and continues to be incredibly rewarding. People ask me all the time why I would choose to put myself through that kind of pain.
It’s funny, originally, I never had a desire to deliver naturally until I took a Christian birthing class with our first child. If you’ve never taken one I would highly encourage you to. I cannot begin to tell you how much we learned about the pros and cons of meds vs. natural child birth and the increased rate of c-sections when the induction of meds, like Pitocin, intervene with the natural order of things. After our class and researching, I felt more empowered to make decisions about stripping membranes, breaking my water, and was encouraged to formalize a labor and delivery plan. Our labor plan was complete with pre-selected scripture verses my husband would read and pray over me as well as playing our own labor CD with uplifting and encouraging Christian music, and etc… With this new information, I became more and more convinced that giving birth naturally was something I at least needed to consider and began praying about. And wouldn’t you know, as I began to pray I couldn’t shake the burden in my heart to give birth naturally. I couldn’t explain it at the time, but I knew God was speaking. I was scared!
With all Four Children, natural labor was hands down the hardest thing I have ever or will ever do in my life, but as I mentioned before it continues to be rewarding and has been so instrumental in my own journey of faith. The scariest moment is when one is asked, ” do you want an epidural?” It’s kind of like speak now or forever hold your peace! You know once you say no, no one can really help you. No one can take your pain! It’s a SCARY place to be!!
It is certainly a leap of faith. It’s just you and God.
In my darkest moment (that transition period), Jesus was all I had. I knew as I called out to Him (and I mean that literally) that He was the only one who could see me through it.
All of my midwives were amazing at coaching me through the process and getting tough with me when they needed to be and I am so thankful for that. In my first birth, I remember screaming, “I CAN’T, I CAN’T!!! Man, my midwife was not going to have that. When she got me to finally calm down she looked at me squarely in the face and in a calm, firm and motherly tone told me to quit crying. I remember her actually telling me, “There’s no crying in baseball!” “Your wasting your energy when you need to be resting!”
I needed that! Her coaching, encouragement and correction were necessary. I needed to hear those strong words in that moment. Afterward, she lovingly coached me on how to relax and how to “surrender to the pain.” She coached me on what it should look, feel and sound like i.e. relax your body, don’t squeeze or clinch down on anything and make noise through the contractions. (We have several shots of me with my hands lifted up in the air while I was contracting just so I would remember not to clinch down on anything.) ; -)
As I relaxed my body and surrendered it over to the pain,( thoroughly embracing and letting each wave of contractions over take me) the process became much more endurable. God gave me the strength to make it through.
Today, I have a much deeper and “vivid” picture of what it means to walk by faith and to truly “surrender” sinful areas over to God. I contribute that all to my birthing journey! I am learning how to trust that God is there even when my circumstances seem impossible, even when they feel too burdensome to carry. He is there holding me and strengthening me through the process.
Contrary to what some question: this was not about proving my strength, but rather God revealing His strength to me and His capability to carry me through the storms of my life. I am delighted and honored that I serve a God, the Creator of the universe, that speaks and reveals himself everyday…even through the birthing process!
There truly is so much beauty in the birthing process. It is a beautiful place, where God truly does reveal himself!
Thanks for letting me share. I thoroughly enjoyed your post and your blog.
Blessings,
Mel
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Dreawood Reply:
March 5th, 2011 at 9:25 am
@popsiclesontheporch, What an awesome testimony!!
After Owens birth the 1st thing I said was “epidural next time!!” because I was just so worn out after his delivery, it was so hard compared to my other epidural births, obviously :)
I think most times peoples choices to get a medical birth is because of their lack of knowledge regarding natural birth…
Most just think “well they have pain meds, why not use them!”
I hear that a lot from moms :)
and you know its ultimately their choice… and im not knocking all meds, I will be the 1st to admit I LOVED NUBANE! That stuff gave me the best kind of relief inbetween contractions with owen, and I needed it.. it didnt take my pain at all.. but it helped me calm down inbetween contractions and I really believe it helped me to dilate better because I wasnt so tense in those inbetweens…
So I think the aid of some medications like nubane are completely fine and does not take away from the fact a mother had a natural birth – because nubane or not it was so hard.
Despite my not wanting another natural birth initially after Owen… the thought now of an epidural scares me. I remember having a sense of no control when I got the epidurals with my 1st two… I also have had friends since Owen have babies and their epidurals didnt take… I just dont want to deal with that.. So Im pretty set on my 4th being natural as well. IF all goes as I hope :)
Thanks again for sharing.
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