I know Ive blogged about this before… but its weighing on me today – after Owen melting down again over who knows what. He just wont talk hardly any.
I was sitting in bed just wondering “maybe something is wrong…” – “maybe that dr. was right when she said he needed to see someone in regards to speech.” – maybe this… or that.
I got out of bed and thought I would look up some old videos of Caleb… because I knew he was a late talker as well… and even though he picked up sign really good and was able to use that – he didn’t talk good until like age 3. So I thought.
I found this video of Caleb talking a little bit at age 2. It sounds so much like Owen and his mannerism as well!
I then looked up a video of Taite at the same age..
There is a significant difference…
I hate I am comparing kids. I’m not trying to. I just worry I suppose… I don’t want my children to ever be behind… and I feel as if maybe I havent invested as much time with Owen’s vocab as I did the others.
Then again I invested all my time with Caleb and he still talked late. I use to blame that on the fact he was the 1st born. I figured Taite talked earlier because he had a brother who talked non-stop by that point… but here we are with Owen who has two talking brothers – yet he barely says any thing.
Here are the words that come to mind that he says.
Hot
Owe-side (outside)
I ant some (I want some)
Uh (yes) – same as Caleb at this age
No
Mama
Stop
Byper – Diaper
Pee
Gum
Bye
Hi
Choo Choo (for train)
Pee-vee (TV)
Bahpul (apple)
Andy (candy)
Shoes
and I really think that is about it.
He signs
More
Milk
& Please
Thats about it in the signing dept.
I will probably get a lash out from comments on this post. I don’t want that. Im just a mom who is concerned… and I know I am probably just over analyzing things… but its a struggle for me right now.
I use to think “maybe its the vaccines” – Maybe thats why Caleb talked so late, he after all got his vaccines. Taite got zero…
Owen though hasn’t had any either – so it can’t be that.
Maybe he just really takes after Caleb in this dept… and its totally normal – and there will be a day in a year or so that he will be just like Caleb and never stop talking :)
I just feel for him right now… because he really is so frustrated he cant communicate what he wants. He can’t even tell us he is hungry with his words… he will pull on the fridge door or point to fruit on the table… but he has never said eat, or hungry or anything like that to us.
Forgive my rambling.
Hurtful comments will be deleted. I am up for hearing from mothers with similar experiences… or any with advice. We have no health insurance… so taking him to any sort of specialist is out of the question… we just could not afford that.
Owen is so sweet.
He takes direction well.
Go get your shoes… shut the door…. get your blankie… go see Caleb… he understands things when we talk to him… its just the communicating back he just doesn’t grasp yet.
I’m just putting it out there. Throwing out the burden I feel – just fearful. I know my fear is not good. Living in fear never is. As a mother though, it is hard not to worry.
Sorry no answers for you just that I believe that Mamas always know when something is not right…your maternal instinct works. I know God gave us Mom’s something extra to help us be in tune with our kids. I can offer my prayers to you.
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oh and my now 3 year old didn’t talk much at all at 2…they wanted me to do a full early intervention evaluation. we decided we did not want the gov’t in our home telling us what to do with our kid…At age 3 she is discovering new words everyday and talking so much I need to tell her to stop sometimes…
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Dreawood Reply:
March 8th, 2012 at 1:31 pm
Thanks Marcella,
It may just be a reminder to myself to invest more into Owen. Even tho im working more now and not with him all the time – I am with him enough to do more… you just get into a routine of how things are and its hard to break that mold sometimes. He just may need more hands on from us than we have been giving him. He is very laid back and easy going.. he does great at entertaining himself… so we let him. But he wont learn how to talk on his own.. so maybe just putting this out there and saying it will motivate me to step up and do things differently for him. I know I can do better than I have been. Im glad to hear about your daughter too. Its encouraging. Caleb was the same way. He never shuts up now :) – and his vocab amazes me. So smart.
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Hi Drea!
Both of my children have/had speech delays. My daughter is 7 and my son just turned 4 in february. With my daughter, I like you was, hesitant, and wanted to give her more time and she was really speaking at all. The more time passed I knew she needed help and her pediatrician advised it before. In maryland there is the Infants and Toddlers program, free from the state as long as your child qualifies, they testing and such. And then the move into the Childfind program at age 2, etc. Well like I said she is 7 and is in 2nd grade and is still receiving speech therapy thru the school system. I should have started earlier than I did but like you I didnt want to compare, etc. In any event, when my son was born I was going to make sure to have hom tested as early as possible and even though he was much much more talkative then my daughter he did infact have a speech dialect issue, so both my kids have similiar and different speech issues. So my suggestion to you is too not beat yourself up and get him the help he needs. It’s better tjan not. And the mire help he receives the better it will be. Some kids grow out of it but some dont. And my kids havent and I work with my kids on their speech as well as they receive the additional services. Hope this helps!
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I think you are doing a wonderful job, Drea :-)
Each child develop at their own pace, and it’s all Ok.
He is the third child, i know some say that because older sibling are talking up the storm that it sometime affects,the baby in the family in the vocabulary dept.
Does he seams to have other learning difficulties? because if he is learning and growing well, maybe he just needs more time (some kids perfect 1 skill before moving onto the next)
I have no tips, just want to encourage you to continue what you are doing :-)
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I’m a mama with similar experience. Macy, baby #2, had very few sounds & babbles by 14 months. She maaaybe would say “eh eh eh” while pointing but not much else. My sister is a SLPA {speech & language pathology assistant} and my cousin & close friend is a SLP {speech & language pathologist} and both encouraged me to have her evaluated. We went the private route since our insurance would cover it & her evaluation results showed that she was delayed by half her age {meaning she had the verbal communication of a 7 month old} verbally but was at about a 15 month level of her understanding of language. We had weekly speech therapy with an SLP or SLPA and Macy had caught up to her peers in about 6 months. Now, at 3 months shy of 3, her expressive language has exploded beyond “average”. Needless to say, I am a huge believer in speech therapy. The sessions are mostly play and, like any teacher, the SLP{A} will push a child maybe a bit more than a parent would while at the same time keeping it light & fun without too much frustration on the part of the child.
It sounds like you aren’t concerned about Owen’s understanding, but may have concerns about his expressive language.
It is my understanding that speech services are covered by the government so you should be able to find a therapist who will come to your home to evaluate him & you can go from there deciding if you want to pursue therapy.
Some things you can do at home to “work” with him…
*Not giving him something until he attempts to verbalize his desire. In other words, if he is thirsty then you can say “Do you want your cup? C-C-C-C-Cup?” and try to encourage him to attempt to say “cup” or “c”.
*Encourage lots of word play & song play. For instance, teach him “Pop goes the weasel” and then, once you think he has it down, you sing “all around the mulberry bush the monkey chased the weasel, the monkey thought it was all in fun….” and then look to him expectantly & excitedly & let him fill in the word “POP” and then finish the song together.
Overall, if you are concerned even a little bit, it doesn’t hurt to have him evaluated through your county {or maybe school district?}. Your tax dollars are paying for those types of services so you may as well use them if needed! Then you & your hubby can take the results of the eval. & make your decision then. :)
Hope that is helpful! I really respect you for blogging about this! I hope you don’t receive any hurtful comments or judgements! We are all mamas, loving on our kiddos & trying our hardest to do what’s right. And sometimes, circumstances shift that make us question the path we are on & our minds & opinions change. I pray you feel only support & love from your readers & friends! :)
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Praying for your anxious heart…when you love your children sooo much, it is hard not to worry. On a side note, GA has a federally funded Babies Can’t Wait program for children. I think they have to be 2 for an eval.He may not wven qualify with his number of words.Just a thought!
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I am a mom of a 4 y/o girl who was a late talker and today I still have a hard time understanding some things to the point I have her show it to me.Now her motor skills sh ei not where she should be but i know each child is different and I try not to compare but it is so hard when you see other kids her doing. I am trying to work with her with a pencil/crayon etc and she wants to hold it with a fist but a friend of mine said she will get it when she is ready. I moved her to a full day-care inJuly and so far other than the pencil some things are much betterbut it does worry me at the same time I ‘d rather know now not later so i am giving her time and hopefully me not pushing to hard will get her motor skills better as well as speach. Any advice on motor skills? You are not alone in this one.
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My son didn’t talk well until he was 18 months. As a first-time mom I worried constantly about this. Had talked to several friends in childcare who had experience with childern with speech problems and was very close to persueing a speech evaluation. Lucky for me my pediatrian is awesome and he didn’t see any real problem at check-ups as my son was able to communicate his needs and was always super smart. He just didn’t want to talk! :-) Fast foward to today my son is not quite 3 and he out talks all 3 year olds I know. He talks in full sentences (and I mean LONG sentences) and has an AWESOME vocabulary. I tell you all of this so that you know you are not alone in your worries, but so you also know that one day – probably when you least expect it – Owen will wake up and begin talking non-stop.
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I have a 5, 3, and 1 year old and they have each developed differently! Our oldest spoke really clearly when he was 2 already, but our 3 old….is still hard to understand. He does know what he’s saying but sometimes we have to ask him to repeat things several times until we get it…I think they’re just all different and it may be easier to tell when they’re a little older if it’s actually a speech thing or just their way of developing?
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my son, now 4.5, had speech issues. He didn’t talk for a long time, which I attributed to having an older sister/second mother talk for him all the time. By the time he turned 2 he still wasn’t saying more than a few words. I asked around about getting him checked and was told nobody would do anything (speech therapy) until he was 3. By the time he was 3, he developed a language all his own that only he, Anna & I understood. I took him to the ‘count your kid in’ screening that the school/district does 2x a year before he turned 2 bc I *knew* it wasn’t normal. He didn’t pronounce any consanants when he talked. Always started with vowel sounds. He tested very far behind in expressive language but close to age for comprehensive-like Owen. He qualified for therapy
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Jenn Reply:
March 8th, 2012 at 2:23 pm
sorry…my phone went wacko and I didn’t get my comment finished!
So before age 3, he qualified for therapy. Even though friends that I asked had been told he wouldn’t be given any help before 3, I found out there IS a place that does therapy before that. I am SO GLAD that I had him tested. It is all state-funded (so I’m sure GA has similar programs) so we didn’t have to pay anything. The place that started his therapy (they worked with him for almost a year, til he turned 3) was incredible. He made amazing improvements!!! After he turned 3, the school district took over his therapy. His progress slowed considerably because they convinced me (I knew better, but I had worked with all these people before and felt bad saying no. stupid!) that he needed to be around “peers” to improve his speech. So we put him in preschool 2 days a week, the day after he turned 3. He loved going, but it didn’t help his speech at all. He’s a very introverted kid and prefers to sit back and watch/observe for a long time before he interacts with other kids. He’s the same way at home…he doesn’t mind at all letting Anna lead and make all the rules. He follows along or plays by himself. Just his personality. When we had his IEP meeting a few months later, they were all so concerned about his “social behavior” and said he needed more time. Well, he was only getting 15 min. of “therapy” a day…IN the classroom full of 10 other special ed kids. He went from hour-long one on one therapy at home to that. No wonder his speech improvement had flat-lined! I refused to add more days of school and the next school year (this year) we homeschooled. He still has speech once a week, but it’s one-on-one with the SLP and he has exceeded his goals every time! Now she’s basically just working on pre-reading skills.
So that’s my story. If you’re worried about his development, I strongly encourage you to find a screening and take him. I would be shocked if there aren’t any state-funded programs. Even though we home school, he still qualifies for the services because we live in the district. My biggest advice is to be your child’s advocate and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. If you KNOW something, don’t let a “professional” tell you otherwise. You’re his mommy and you know him better than anyone else. (I’m a former teacher, so it was really hard standing up to these other teachers and friends! But I’m so glad I did. Jacob has absolutely blossomed this year!!). It won’t hurt anything to have him tested. I would try emailing this person…
http://www.doe.k12.ga.us/Curriculum-Instruction-and-Assessment/Special-Education-Services/Pages/Speech-Language-Impairment.aspx
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i have 2 kiddos – 3.5 and 2, so this comment isn’t from a more-experienced mom.
my tip is from my early childhood teaching experience.
first of all; there is SUCH a huge range of normal development that sheer word count should not concern you. to encourage verbal communication tell him “use your words, owen.” next, you can “give” him words. say “are you hungry?” (or whatever) if he responds yes, tell him, “say owen hungry (or eat or whatever)”. don’t act until his has attempted to say whatever it is. but it can be way mispronounced, as long as it was an effort to communicate. in time, when you prompt him by saying “use your words” it will come naturally.
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Awe, don’t worry! Really, I mean it!! Remember how Caleb just wasn’t understanding things before you started homeschooling, and you wondered if there was an issue? And now he’s so grown up and smart and doing well. I think that 2 years is way too early to decide that there is something wrong. If we wasn’t saying any words at all, I might wonder if there was a possible speech problem. But he is saying lots of words. Emery isn’t talking like crazy either, and when she thinks she’s “talking” to me, it often sounds a lot like that first video of Caleb :) That was SUPER cute, by the way. It’s amazing how time flies by, and now he’s 7 1/2!
I have several examples of people I know who didn’t really start talking until much later than 2, and they are perfectly fine and normal now :) My Dad says his one brother didn’t talk AT ALL until he was 4, and then all of a sudden he started talking in sentences.
Hang in there! Pray about it, and if you really really feel like it’s an issue, then look for help. But I honestly think that he’s totally normal :) You should post a little video, like the one with Caleb.
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Liam has just recently started to talk and say words that I can understand. It seems that all of a sudden his vocab has taken off. My oldest, who is now 4, was speaking in sentences and paragraphs by 15 months (everyone could understand her, not just me). Liam will be two on the 16th and I think it has just taken him longer to care about talking. I told myself that as long as he’s hearing and taking direction from me, I wasn’t going to get too concerned. If, at 3, Owen isn’t making advances, then I might see about a specialist. He’s still really young and I would just try and encourage talking.
Also, I make Liam attempt to say words before I give things to him. For example…
If he wants a snack, I make him try to say “snack” before I give him one. If it sounds nothing like it, I still give him one for trying. It at least gets his mouth moving. :)
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We actually just talked about development in my pediatrics course. Don’t think Owen is behind–because he definitely isn’t! One of the most important things to remember is that kids all develop at their own pace, and you shouldn’t be worried if he’s talking later than Taite did or anything. It would be a problem if he was completely nonverbal, but he’s not so I wouldn’t worry about speech issues until he’s talking in complete sentences. It might be because he’s got so many people that are talking for him (I remember being a kid and talking for Tori all the time…she did end up having some speech problems but they were corrected in her first few years of school and mainly were messing up letters (i.e. w for some r’s, etc)). I think the suggestion of making him verbalize things more is a good place to start…maybe he doesn’t bother to say more because he knows you’ll do it, but gets irritated when it doesn’t happen right away. The thing to remember is improvement…if he’s picking up new things and progressing in his learning, he’s probably okay. But if he’s 2.5 and not saying anything else, it might be time to worry.
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Hi Drea,
I think my daughter is one or two months in age different than Owen. She did not talk much at all either. We just said our oldest did all the talking for her so she didn’t have to. About two weeks ago, literally she just woke up and talked constant. Sounds crazy but true. All kids develope at different ages and points. I truly wouldn’t be concerned unless he is three and still not talking much. You are a great mom! It sounds like he understands what you are saying but just gets frustrated and melts down when he can’t express what he is wanting to. I would just give him a little more time.
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I am Resource Teacher, (aka Spec. Ed. teacher), and I work a lot with a Speech Therapist as many of my students go to him routinely. A lot of what he does with the younger kids is with the alphabet. Having the kids say the letters and sound the letters out with a keyword like, “A, Apple, Ahhhh, B, Bat, Bah.” Maybe you could try a similar exercise even of him just listening to you do that continuously. I can sometimes be a worry wort. I am expecting a baby girl next month and I find myself worrying every now and then about something silly. I pray that your nerves will calm down, as I pray the same prayer for myself. God is in control and if I would just remember that and stop comparing myself, (or eventually my children to other children), I think my fears would subside. Good Luck :)
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Thanks for posting this! This is something that has also been weighing on my heart. Jacob was a talker, and Riley talks SOOOO much more than everyone lol and Cole hardly says anything. It is a huge concern. Mom knows best that’s for sure. I’d day check it out. The sooner the better. Speach therapy can start for children even before the age of three! My brother did with his son and it made the world of difference. He’s 4 now and keeping up with everyone. Don’t worry about people thinking that you’re worrying too soon because this is the case for sooo many young children and theres so many good resources out there to help. It is wonderful to see mom’s investing in their children’s development rather than those who sit back and don’t do anything.
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I’m going through the same thing right now – though my son’s quite a bit older (just turned 4). We put off getting any services/therapy to see if he would start talking clearer on his own. Really, it wasn’t until he was 3 that I was majorly concerned about his speech. Where we live, they can start preschool through the school system at 3 yrs. old if they have a learning disability/speech delay. Maybe Atlanta/surrounding area has something similar? If his speech is something to be concerned about, hopefully you can find something that starts at an earlier age instead of having to wait until Owen is older. It’s challenging & I’m struggling with it a lot at the moment. I don’t want to worry you though! Since Caleb was the same way, maybe Owen’s following the same path. I’ll pray for you & you can pray for me. :)
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Every child is different. I’ve read a lot of things that say a child with older siblings lets them do all the talking for him, he knows eventually one of them will ask for a drink, then he gets one too.
My son was a late talker, a late walker, a late crawler. He never tried anything, hated being on his belly, didn’t cruise around furniture, and he made a lot of sounds but no words. We know now, 30 years later that he was/is an observer and when he was ready, he’d surprise the heck out of you.
He never, ever tried crawling, then one day (8 months old) he saw his cousin pushing a toy and crawled right after her. My brother asked when he started crawling, and I said “now.” The next day he crawled over to the couch, stood up, climbed up and I found him standing on the couch.
At 14 months he would crawl to something and pull up, but never tried to step away, he’d stand there till he was ready to move then plopped back down and crawled. I was at a friends house and he was standing next to the couch waving a fly swatter in the air, not used a brand new clean one, then while watching the moving flyswatter, walked across the room watching it flutter.
Speech – he babbled, not sure what language he was talking in, but if you asked him to repeat or say it again, it was the same sounds, just not English. Then one day at 2 1/2 he heard a noise in the sky and said “Look Mom, an airplane.”
If you really are worried, contact the local county health department or your pediatrician about testing. Most of it is free, and you will either be reassured that he’s developing normally, or that he might have a problem and you’re on the way to getting him what he needs. If he is behind, speech therapy will help. The earlier you treat issues, the easier it is to correct them.
It could just be he doesn’t feel the need to talk, he’s got the other two to talk for him.
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Hi Drea,
I’m back! This time, however, I had to step up because what you are talking about is EXACTLY what I do. I’m in Ohio where we have Help Me Grow (HMG). This is a program that serves kids birth to three with either a qualifying medical diagnosis or ann identified delay in one of five areas (gross motor [big muscle development like walking], fine motor [little muscles like fingers/hands, sensory processing, and oral motor function], expressive language [what you say], receptive language [what you understand], adaptive [self-help skills], and personal-social development. To qualify the child, a play-based evaluation is done. It’s very standarized so that it’s not a matter of opinion, but rather based on a combination of structured tasks, observation, and parent report. The test is specifically catered to the child’s age, so it isn’t ever some stuffy flashcard evaluation. It’s actually really fascinating – honestly, even if a parent doesn’t have concerns! What’s cool is that even if a parent is concerned about just one area (like speech), they get a really nice developmental profile for the whole child since all areas of development are completely interrelated. So, for example, a problem with walking (gross motor) might actually be due to a sensory processing problem (fine motor).
This is a federally mandated program, which means that your state has their own version. Here’s the link that I found:
http://health.state.ga.us/programs/bcw/index.asp
Each state (and county) does things a bit differently, but the idea is the same. Identify the needs early, provide services (early intervention) in a way that works WITH the family, and then if the child seems to need services beyond age three, you are then linked up with your local school district to have further access to services such as really cool preschools that incorporate therapies into the programming, or private services. The whole purpose of this is to minimize the number of kids entering kindergarten with needs for specialized services (such as speech therapy, occupational therapy, etc.).
I tell you all of this because I want to make sure you know a few things:
1.) This program is FREE. It is typically paid for through your state department of health or department of education. It is not a need-based program.
2.) If your child qualifies, you have the right to do nothing else. You can use that evaluation to help you make decisions about what to do at home, getting private services, etc. It is totally up to you.
3.) If a child does have needs in the area of language, the need gets bigger as they get older without intervention. That’s not to say that your Mr. O has a need right now. He may not and, if so, his language development will get better with time. If he (or any child) does, there is a something that is slowing his language development down and will not go away on its own. As he gets older, it can lead to feeding issues, behavior issues, anxiety, etc. This is all in addition to just speech problems. Research shows that intervention that takes place during the birth to three years makes an incredible impact on the overall outcome.
4.) Every child has the right be evaluated. The program is always voluntary,
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Oh my goodness!!! It just posted without me having a chance to edit it or anything! Yikes! I’m sorry it’s so long. Please e-mail me if you want to get my phone number and I will be happy to give you more information. I can also do some screenings over the phone with you to help you make some decisions. While I completely understand the logic of “wait and see”, I feel very strongly that it only has a good outocome if there was no real need to begin with. If there is a need, the wait-and-see approach just costs you precious time. Finally, there is no shortage of experts in the country – experts in child development, speech and language development, health issues, etc. There are, however, only TWO experts in Owen on this earth, you and your husband. Good luck to you!! You are a very good mama!!
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Don’t compare! That is what I did and it caused so much stress. My firstborn, a son (fully vaccinated) was just like Taite. By age 2 1/2 he knew letters, shapes and numbers. My middle child, a daughter (vaccinated until 6 months) did not speak until age 3. She will be four soon. Her pediatrician was not too worried and I even went ahead and spoke with a speach therapist who calmed my fears and told me some children do not speak well until after age three (I was shocked to hear this since I thought for sure once I put a call in they would want to start therapy). We waited and I am so happy we did. She was right on schedule for everything else so I knew there were no other issues but her lack of speech was making me so nervous especially since I compared her with her brother. Our third, almost two year old, is speaking and I forget what it is like to hear a 22 month old talk. Now that I have gone through it I can tell other moms not to stress. If Owen is developing well in other areas, I would not worry until he gets closer to three. If by then, strangers can understand 50% of what he is saying, then he is fine! My daughter had a huge burst of vocabulary a little after she turned three and as each month goes by her communication skills get better. Feel free to ask any questions!
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Drea…do you know about peachcare for kids? It’s free health insurance here in GA…look into it…www.peachcare.org…just for health insurance…I think they all talk at different times…I have 4 kids and they have all rolled over/crawled/talked and walked at different times! I lean toward waiting on everything and giving them time…
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I worried about that with my kids as well, My second didn’t talk until she was much older than my first was…My 3rd was saying full phrases at 9-10 months. Our Dr. explained it pretty well about how they have an older sibling who helps them get and do what they want so verbal communication isn’t as important. If they can point to something and someone knows what it means and gets it for them, they won’t talk as early. Obviously that isn’t the case with all kids but with our 3rd, we encouraged talking and had the older kids encourage it too and she was talking pretty well at 9-10 months! Our 4th was a little slower as well. If he is understanding direction and can communicate in some way, I wouldn’t worry to much. I know how hard that is for a mommy though.
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