caleb, parenting, scripture

Exploring Purity at 7

For some time now, I have had a burden on my heart…
… a burden for my boys & their purity.

It seems with each passing year, the statistics of men addicted to porn goes up… and up. Sexual addiction is such a problem & yet so many people feel the need to just burry it… pretend its not there, and hope no one notices or finds out.

I wasn’t able to find any 2012 statistics but even as far back as 2005 – 70% of men were looking at porn every single month.

I bet if the men here chimed in, who arent ashamed to admit to looking – can probably remember the very 1st time they saw porn – and I have a feeling most of them weren’t even teenagers.

Its heart breaking!

IMG_3485 copyIs it possible for a man to grow up in this country and remain pure? Obviously we will never raise perfect men… our boys will fail, they will sin… they will not lead a life of perfection… but I sure am praying hard for their purity… and that they would learn early on the importance of guarding their eyes and their heart from sexual addictions.

Today while Caleb (7) was outside with a neighborhood friend… just hanging out in the yard, they were chit chatting back and forth and then before I knew it, both were sneaking inside the house. I was of course “watching” them the entire time, so when they came in, I asked them what they wanted. Caleb then said to me…

“He wants to show me something on the computer, can he?”

Im sure you can guess what my answer was.

I let them hang out side for a few more minutes, enjoying a piece of candy they brought home from VBS… and when Caleb came in and his friend left, I sat him down and asked him what it was his friend wanted to show him.

I am pretty good at picking up when my children are lying. It reads all over their face. Caleb as honest as I could tell, had no clue what this boy wanted to show him. He simply said he wanted to show him something on our computer, thats it.

This same boys brother months prior had told Caleb “I want to show you my brothers phone next time I come over… it has a naked lady on it.” – this coming from a boy who was only 9.

Heart breaking!!!

That boy never got a chance to bring his “brothers phone” over – and we are very strict as to where Caleb goes with friends. There are very few we’d actually trust with our children, in their homes.

I am reminded of this verse often… and it rings such truth in so many areas… but esp. in regards to our children…

“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
– 1 Peter 5:8

Satan wants nothing more than to corrupt my boys or anyones kids for that matter.
He would be so pleased to see these young men, grow up to struggle with sexual addiction.

Protect your children…

I was telling Travis just last night how I want him to really talk openly with our boys about purity… about respecting women. The importance and the impact their actions will have prior to even getting married… and how vital it is to guard their hearts…

The statistics are against us in this area. The great peace I do have is knowing we serve such a faithful God… and a God who desires purity… and a future for our boys… we just need to lead them in the right direction, even at 7.

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Also to those curious how we found out about the boy and the cell phone…

Caleb told us.

I am so thankful he feels safe enough to talk to us about things like this. He more often than not goes to his Dad – which is normal :) – Im thankful he has a father willing to speak truth… and be there for him. This I know will be one of the biggest impacts on his life… next to coming to know the Lord.

8 Comments on “Exploring Purity at 7

  1. I am so glad to see you post on this topic. The statistics are shattering for our children and husbands. A great resource for men is every mans battle. A great read for our husbands as well as us to help us understand the challenges they face every day! Thank you for blogging about this subject! Your lat two posts have been great and truly struggles in our society. As a foster parent and parent to six boys, we see the struggles and the desire to medicate threes children. It breaks my heart! Thank you again!!!

  2. It constantly amazes me how young children are so easily exposed to things like this! I have a daughter (almost 6) whom I homeschool for many reasons. I am so thankful for this season, not just to shelter, but too gain her trust to tell her momma anything! Sounds like you’re doing a great job with Caleb!

  3. What an awesome post! It is so, so sad to hear/read the statistics. We recently attended a Christian homeschooling conference. I attended a workshop on sons and purity. The speakers were a married couple, authors of the book “Raising Real Men”, and parents of six boys. They had much to share, and the statistics were staggering at the amount of boys under age 10 who had seen internet porn. Even in Christian homes. You are so wise to be diligent. Satan wants to destroy our children, and the Internet, smart phones, and more can cause so much damage. They shared similar wisdom to yours – how well can we really know our friends and our kids’ friends? Keep our kids close when they are young so we can mentor and influence them. My prayer is for my boys to be steeped in purity as well.

  4. Prayer and being constantly alert is very important in raising children today. If you ask Him, God will alert you and make you feel uneasy when something sneaky is going on. My mom used to say she had eyes in the back of her head but I knew she had a direct line to God and he sees all things.

    The best way for Travis to teach the boys how to respect women is to show it by his own actions and words. You guys are doing a great job.

  5. Praise the Lord that you are watching your kids. It’s so easy to be busy and miss these types of things. May the Lord keep your eyes and heart open, so you can direct your young men in godliness.

  6. Oh, Andrea, this just breaks my heart. I’m so glad that you were there and that Caleb’s eyes have been protected so far. I think that might have been the last playdate with that friend if it had been me… There’s just too much at stake. So thankful for our godly husbands who can train up our boys in the way they should go! Praying for wisdom for you all!

  7. Drea, God is blessing you with boys for a reason! If we are to believe the statistics out there and their predictions, There will only be a handful of godly men out there in the world by the time our daughters grow up!

    Thank God for families like yours!

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