I had to find humor today after reading a post on facebook by my friend Candra… a mom of 4 (3 boys/1 girl – same ages as my kids)… she posted about how they got garden soil and spread it all over the trampoline as she did the dishes. Never a dull moment when you are a mom… this is especially true if you are a dude mom.
Boys I promise you have something wrong with their brains that makes it so they cannot rationally think. Its totally true. There is a science about it. So I tell myself. Boys do not think. Some do but even the best don’t. HAH. Hear me out, I do not think my boys are stupid even though they do stupid things. They are bright and smart in their own amazing ways but boy do they do stupid crap.
So I decided it would be funny and good therapy for me to sit down and write a post all about things I have had to endure and handle as a dude mom.
1. Go ahead and get familiar with ER rooms. All 3 of my older boys got their heads stitched or glued before the age of 2.
2. There will be a moment in your boys life, possibly. When they come to you and tell you how they found some chocolate in their bedroom on the floor…. that they ate it… only to realize it was not chocolate.
3. There will always be pee some place in your home. May it be the floor. The Toilet Seat or the Closet.
4. The Slimy boogers are the best, so I am told.
5. No Park trip is complete without a child overly large and well past potty training years, comes to you and tells you they had an accident. The type of accident that just so happens to happen on a day he decided he didn’t want to wear underwear. Which resulted in all sorts of amazing smelling fun down his leg and into a rainboot. This no lie has happened more than once.
6. “Mommy my wee wee is getting hard” – will be said out loud to you by almost all your boys. Typically around age 3. Try not to laugh.
7. I don’t care if their feet are cute. They stink.
8. If you do not give your child soda. Prepare for the random moment when your kid finds someones open soda can at a park, ball game or zoo… and chugs it.
9. Eating food off of walmart floor is apparently appealing to 2 year olds.
10. Boy’s enjoy peeing outside, a lot. Go ahead and teach them proper methods of concealment.
11. If you have a 2 story deck, your child will pee off that and your neighbor will at one point see it.
12. If you have only boys, there will be lots of questions as to why you sit to pee.
13. If you leave spray paint within reach – even the smartest of kids will be ignorant enough to spray it onto a surface that was not meant to be sprayed.
14. Boys Poop in the Tub. OFTEN. It is not fun.
15. and to end… I have to say, boys…. give the most amazing hugs.
There are many days I handle these things wrongly. I will not lie or pretend to be perfect in all the situations above :) – what I can say is, I am thankful for my boys… despite it all. Life will never be boring here… and I hope that when my boys are grown, the fun will continue with lots of grandbabies. I am hoping when that day comes though that we get some girls in this family. ;-)