This morning as I tried to wake up… I got on to check my messages and saw an update post from a girl I went to high school with. I clicked it and it was a link to an obituary. My Science Teacher from High School had passed away. He was 62. He was one of my favorite teachers my entire high school years. I just loved the way he taught but also how he treated his students. He was one of those teachers you just never forgot. Yet now he is gone. It seems to soon.
He was younger than my dad.
It then got me thinking about how fast time really does go.
It does not feel that long ago I was in his class room. Watching other students get caught up in high school dramas. Worried about boys. What they wore. Consumed with social status and being liked (don’t worry, I was in some of those ruts too at times)… I remember many high school mornings walking around half asleep (so not a morning person then or now)… but one thing that I remember so clearly was “wishing the days away”. Any one with a “eh” and “so so” high school experience can relate. The photo to the right was taken my senior year. I still remember the day that was taken. I hated having my photo taken. I was not very secure in myself… lacked confidence. In High School I never felt I clicked with much of anyone. I for some reason felt years beyond my peers, unable to relate… I was not into any thing school related and I believe I had one of the worse “school spirits” you could have… I could not wait for graduation day and for those days to be over.
Who would have thought that 2 years after sitting in that classroom with that Science teacher who is now gone… I would then become a bride…
and not long after that, a mother.
Year after year passed so much faster now. Every few years we had another baby. In fact for those who have kept up with me. We had a new baby in every new city we lived in. We laugh that its inevitable we have a 5th, since we are now in a new city.
We met new people, experienced new highs and lows.
and the days of “I can’t wait for this to be done!” never came again.
We all have our bad days and some times months or even years… but its funny how our desire for times to go quickly are over. Life becomes much shorter and precious.
Here is a great song that kind of sums up some of those emotions…
Its a reminder for me to remember to focus on the now.
To stop sitting around questioning things so much.
Last night after watching House Hunters, I questioned the house we are buying. Wondering if its “the house” for us. Debating in my head if its big enough. Going back and forth reasoning with scenarios that may never be. Why do we do that?
Why do we consume ourselves with the “possibilities“?
Day dreaming of how things could be better.
Seeing that Science Teachers Obituary was a reminder for me this morning of how quickly time does go. I am sure life ending at 62 for him, was never something he planned for… no amount of worrying changed it… and dwelling on “possibilities” didn’t make it come any later. I’m so so sad he had to go so soon with so much life left to live.
How are we living our life, now?
I am reminded on days when life seems to be going fast… to be extra intentional and be an example to my boys of a mother who loves Jesus…
Instead of the mom who just wants to be left alone for 5 minutes.
Or the wife who dreams of something more.
The friend who battles loneliness. Despite friendships.
The depression that hovers on days I feel not needed or life feels to unimportant. Ignoring all that we have around us as mothers… and yet never being satisfied.
What is your focus today?
I think its something we should dwell on more… rather than what may be.
“I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return. May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God.” – Phil 1:9-11