caleb, home school, Owen, Reed, struggles, Taite

To the questionable mom

To the questionable mom who questions her worth while living in the midst of constant pull from kids.

This week I decided to take the boys on a field trip to the SC State Museum. Home schoolers get in for free (yes please). So we made our way there and I decided for once to take my camera along (the non-iphone camera). As we went throughout the museum, a museum that for some reason that day decided to be full of field trip kids. LOTS OF THEM. I watched my boys together, as child after child ran past us carrying on and doing as they pleased. I truly felt blessed to be there with my boys as they experienced the museum… although some days I wish I was the mom at home with just a toddler or baby, while someon else took on the responsibility of teaching the boys. I think any home school mom can admit to desiring that. I sure have a handful of times. This post isn’t about home schooling tho… As I watched them this day, I couldn’t help but be blessed by their interactions. Maybe inbetween a few frustrating moments of disobedience or just annoying behavior that boys often carry (don’t eat that off the floor, please stop making that sound, get your hands out of your pants *uh, why!*, no you can’t have candy, please stop eating your boogers, don’t climb that…) haha… the sweet moments far outweighed the sour.

To the questioning mom who doubts her worthTo the questioning mom who questions her worth. You may not be a home school mom like myself. Yet you are still constantly at the need of littles and pouring yourself into them daily. Know that your words and lessons you teach them, in and outside of the classroom, stick. Some of these lessons take a lot of repeating… sometimes we find ourselves frustrated at the need to constantly reinforce the same things over and over… but know that your calling to be those kids mother, is a great one.

I watched the movie tuesday night with my oldest son Caleb, called “Moms Night Out” – it was a comedy of course and all in good fun, but many of the actresses words really hit home for me. I totally felt how she felt in the movie! How she was living her dream… she dreamed of being a mother, and yet she found herself so unhappy… as if the joy had be sucked out of her. Her desire for perfection, crippled her ability to live in the now while her kids were little. I can be that mom! I can be the one who gets so stressed out when I walk down only to see toys on the floor, spilt gold fish or discover a sippy cup of milk behind my cars seat that had sat there for days, resulting in chunks no one should ever clean. I can be that mom who freaks out rather than seeing the blessing that child wanted to give.

A post to encourage mothers about their doubt and struggle in the every day with littles.Daily we as moms have to really stop and remind ourselves to take it one day at a time… remember that the moments we share with these dear ones will seem like few, compared to the years once they leave home. My oldest is 11 years old. Wears a shoe size bigger than mine, is only 15lbs away from weighing as much as me… and an inch or so from being taller than me. That 11 year old use to be my 1 year old. He use to be the baby I toted on my hip and wiped boogers off his face. He was the one who had blow outs in the line at walmart and pulled my hair as I attempted to feed him. He was so tiny and now he is so big.

Yet despite me missing him being small, I love seeing him big.

I love seeing him lift his little brother when Reed is to tiny to do something on his own.


Or when he sees I need help and offers to carry something.

He blesses me when he tells me to go rest, while he sweeps the kitchen.

Or offers to cook his brothers breakfast or lunch, so that I don’t have to.

A post for mothers who question their worth.Those things that he does, are a part of who he is… but they are also things that I truly believe come with example… and time spent pouring into our children. Thankful for the young man he is becoming and thankful for lots of forgiveness from the Father but also Caleb, for the many times we didn’t do such a good job.

So questionable mom, who doubts (so me), be blessed today knowing you are amazing… and those little ones look up to you every moment of every day. Teach them great things and teach them to love to serve… and bless as well.

One Commnet on “To the questionable mom

  1. You really do not know how much I needed this today!! Dealing with my 19 year old bonus child, who is depressed and anxious and so often, on the verge of killing herself. I got full custody as she turned 13, so much damage done by her bio mother before I came along. But I also know my decisions and actions (when I was running from the Lord) have also influenced her. My heart’s desire is to see her surrender and ask Christ to be her Lord and Saviour. Days like this, when I doubt my ability to raise or school or even just parent my 5 year old, little Miss Kimmy. Days when the pain and dizziness outweigh everything else and I just want to curl up and hibernate. Days like this when I so miss my Johnathan, who is a couple of days from having the same birthday as Caleb, knowing he is a thousand literal miles from me, because of sinful decisions I made. Knowing that some of his anxiety and nightmares are of my doing.
    You don’t know what a blessing your family has been, Andrea, since the first Sunday morning when the deacons told us Pastor Travis was coming to preach. All I heard was “his children are homeschooled” and I was ecstatic, knowing that we were of like mind, hoping I could be friend with the new pastor’s wife. I will forever be grateful that you are willing to share your struggles, not just the shining successes, but the rough times. It is a blessing to know I’m not the only mom who struggles. But most of all, I’m thankful for the Saviour we have in common, who’s going to take us home, out of all the doubts and pain and struggles:)

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