I haven’t blogged in some time… months really. Unless you count an occasional recipe or a post about essential oils. Blogging my heart just hasn’t happened much. I think for numerous reasons. Busy schedules. School. Jobs. House work. All typical and normal reasons to neglect something that maybe wasn’t an absolute must. Blogging has always been a place where I could come and write my heart on a post… without to much fear. Lately I have battled some serious anxiety… so much so that to write, meant to open up more reasons to be anxious. Fear of saying something wrong. Fear of hurting someones feelings. Fear of getting in trouble. Fear of many “possibilities” that may hold truth or may not hold any at all. All of it though boiled down to my incredible struggle with trust and the crippling hold anxiety had on my heart. Honestly, still does at times.
A French philosopher named Montaigne said,
“My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.“
Some days worry and anxiety will consume me so much that I find myself wanting to do nothing but sleep. Id find myself very short with my husband and kids… because the weight of my anxiety was so heavy I couldn’t process both the now and what was on my mind.
So why write about it….
Because I have to believe my sharing, can help another. Even as I write that I fear some may find my motives wrong, misunderstood and judge me with not much thought. Where does that fear come from though?…. because I in 2 Timothy 1:7, it says very clearly “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” I absolutely believe there are many mothers out there who battle this and feel alone… and if my writing a short blog post can help even just one of them, then it was worth the anxiety it caused me to even write it in the first place. Why should a persons perversion of my heart and motive hinder me from encouraging another? It shouldn’t.
So where does that leave me… or us.
I’ve been reading in a book called Calm my Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow.
I thought Id just write here a few truths she reminds us of in one of the chapters.
Anxiety is that which divides and distracts the soul, that which diverts us from present day to weary calculations of how to meet conditions that may never arrive. Its the habit of crossing bridges before we reach them.
Worry has more to do with perspective than with circumstances.
She reminds us of Matthew 6:25-34
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
She reminds us that Jesus commanded us to “not be anxious.”
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7
That short verse I learned when I was a teenager and a new believer and yet I forget it so quickly.
She then encourages us to write down our anxieties.
Put them in a box and pray. Tell God you are giving Him this worry… that is just tearing you apart. Put it away and give it to Him.
Is my struggle completely and automatically healed by 2 scriptures and a simple task of writing down my anxieties? no… it truly is a battle and takes constant reminding and constant processing and keeping in check for me.
But we have a choice… and we do not have to allow anxiety to rule our lives… The enemy will soak up every bit of this and use it to blind us… and cripple us in so many ways.
This post was spurred by a young lady who completely inspired me. I’ve only known her for 6 months but she has blown me away with her maturity and faith. She is a student in our student ministry at church. Yesterday she put up this post on her instagram yesterday and I was just so impressed with her guts to talk about anxiety and depression so openly at such a young age. Those who battle any anxiety or depression have trouble talking openly about it. At least I do… So I am so impressed with her boldness. Never stop writing Lauren! You inspire many.