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You are the Light – LoveLOUD 2011 from FBCW on Vimeo.
Category Archives: ministry
LOVELOUD
Do not say.
Let me warn you, this is one of those – thinking post… where I think and write as I go… so it may not make sense… it may be long and drawn out… but none the less, its here – and maybe through some odd form of communication it may help someone relate.
I was looking through my flickr photo stream last night, in attempts to find some images for my new header. Some of you may of noticed that ;-) – while in my flickr, lots of photos came up from our old home… I had moments of joy when I saw the photos, moments of sadness and then moments of anger.
The anger especially came when Id…
1) see a photo of our actual church… or
2) see a photo of our parsonage.
Since getting here I haven’t thought to much about what went on back in NC… I tried from the very beginning to realize the certain people in our church were blind… and honestly could not see the wrong in what they were doing. I am sure if they are reading this they would think WE were the blind ones… and they were right.
Our truth… and our guide does not come from what WE think thankfully, but from the Lord. We know our motives… we know what our hearts desire there was… and so much of what has gone on just reveals where they were.
Which makes me grieve and bite my tongue all at once.
Hearing some of the stories here in COR from other Pastors wrongly terminated… is heart breaking. To see church after church kick their Pastor and families out… because of the most petty, godless reasons. One family that just got here has 7 kids!! and an 8th on the way… and they are now in the same situation as us.
It really is no wonder that so many outside the church, detest and hate the thought of stepping foot into one. What a horrible witness churches are becoming when they do this to their Pastors…
Yet lies are created to cover tracks and make the Pastors and their families seem as enemies.
There have been moments where I wanted nothing more than to see the church we left to die. The Lord is working on me with these thoughts. There may be some bad apples (although only through Grace we are free from that sourness – see told you, off the top of my head, makes no sense)… however there are also some amazing sweet and dear members there that we miss greatly! There is a work that needs to be done in that town. It really is a mission field. Corrupted by tradition and false doctrine. Taking the good and leaving what they detest. Truth, discipline… conviction, God’s judgement and Godly correction.
You ruffle a feather… you are the judge. Not God, in so many eyes.
God is our Judge.
His Word is our guide.
I wish more could see that.
Although I struggle now with the thought of ever stepping foot into another traditional baptist church… I know that wherever God calls us, we will go. I am just so thankful for the direction of those here in COR… for the time the Lord is allowing us to have to figure things out, work on our marriage and be poured into by Godly Christian men and women.
This may not of been OUR CHOICE.
But we know without a doubt, THIS WAS GODS PLAN.
I love this song… and find myself clinging to the words daily.
Words: Kristyn Getty
Traditional Melody arranged Rob MathesWhat grace is mine that He who dwells in endless light
Called through the night to find my distant soul
And from his scars poured mercy that would plead for me
That I might live and in his name be knownSo I will go wherever He is calling me
I lose my life to find my life in Him
I give my all to gain the hope that never dies
I bow my heart, take up my cross and follow HimWhat grace is mine to know His breath alive in me
Beneath his wings my wakened soul may soar
All fear can flee for death’s dark night is overcome
My Saviour lives and reigns forevermoreSo I will go…
I do not deserve God’s grace… none of us do…
But I am so thankful for it!
…despite the ugliness that was forced on our family… and the hardship of adjustment… and ripping our kids from their only known home… We know this is just a step the Lord had for us. To show us grace.. and mercy.
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!”
Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. – Psalm 20:22
Ministry ups and downs
This is some what of a downer post :-\ or maybe just a look into my head post. Im not complaining, just letting things out a bit.
Today is the 3rd Saturday we’ve spent in our new home.
Tomorrow we will attend our new church for the 3rd time.
Am I use to it yet? Far from it… I have gotten lost numerous times already :) – which is pretty funny when I think about it… I don’t recognize hardly anyone each time I step into the church… which I guess is fine… just not what I am use to…
The Pastor and those in the church are amazing… and the choir… unreal.
My kids I think are realizing that they are no longer the “Pastors Kids” – where before they could walk into the church and almost everyone knew who they were. They also could easily walk through the halls of the church and know who everyone else was as well, or at least recognize them.
Not a need… just what was the norm for them.
That isn’t our life now.
It feels very unfamiliar right now… and while I feel incredibly blessed to be here, there is still that sense of loneliness at times. I miss my friends a lot. Not being able to go to Kelly or Shannon’s house on the whim is weird to me. So many others I connected with like Aliesha and more, are now so far… I miss the incredible network of photographers too… especially Laurie… I think my kids are starting to miss their friendships as well. Part of me hates we had to rip them from that… but we know we had too.
Change is hard.
Part of the process here is being involved with varies forms of counseling. Which really, is awkward, weird… and very uncomfortable. Like my husband said at one of our 1st sessions “It just feels weird being on the other side.”
Do we need it?
You know… Id like to say “NOPE, we’re totally good.” – but in all honesty I think any married couple that has been through what we’ve gone through, needs it.
So I am thankful for the opportunity to get it all out there, resolve things, fix things, be ministered to and ultimately make our marriage, our family and future ministry stronger than its ever been.
Even if its….
Uncomfortable…
Weird…
and
Awkward.
Thats just part of the process unfortunately.
Ministry is hard.
And until you experience it you really have no clue how hard it can be.
A few things I have learned throughout these past 8 years of ministry…
1) Never expect it to go smooth :)
2) DO NOT BUY A HOUSE – at least not right away…
Theres a time and place for it, but I would highly discourage it in 1st time ministries…
The Lord has protected us from making this mistake twice!
Once in Ohio and even in Williamston.
Both times we were so close to entering that journey…
and the Lord put up red flags…
Turning us away from buying.
We are so thankful!
Both situations… Ohio and Williamston, we had full intentions on planting our lives there. We felt the Lord called us to those places… so why not buy, right? God obviously had different plans.
We each have to pray and seek the Lord on this… I would just say… take your time :)
3) Your thoughts and “thinking” will likely change.
When we 1st married.
I was one of those, and my husband was too…
We thought that using birth control (any form) was wrong.
We got pregnant 2 mo. after we got married.
Lost that 1st baby just shy of 3 months…
After that miscarriage and the advice of our Dr. we were told to wait on having more… we used a form of birth control to allow my body to heal… then of course that December we got pregnant again with Caleb.
Life brings so many changes doesn’t it? And one thing I have learned… through the ups and downs I’ve experienced… from getting married at 19… moving 12 hrs away to Ohio… becoming a new mom ALONE… and much much more… that waiting to have a baby… is WISE at times. While some may feel led to birth as many as they can. I met a mom with 14 yesterday, amazing!!! – phew! – but others may not be prepared mentally, spiritually or physically for that. And you know, thats just fine.
Blessed is the man who’s quiver is full, yup!
Whos to say what each mans quiver is to look like?
We are blessed.
And if we had another, id feel blessed again.
With all this, despite my wants… we have to wait to have more kids… Our health insurance is gone in 5 months… my husband still has no job… we will probably have to move in a year… again. My kids have undergone so much change already… is it really wise to have more? Can I really take it? Even though I had originally wanted to try for a 4th this August… since I dreamed of Owen having a sibling close like Caleb and Taite have each other…
Theres so many questions I think about and wonder…
But what I do know is that using wisdom is so important in making any decision , like having a baby…
Had you asked me that during our honeymoon stage, I would of told you, you were wrong :) and didn’t trust the Lord enough… funny how 8 years of ministry changes you.
That is just one of the many things I’ve thought differently on, since entering marriage… motherhood and ministry…
4) Don’t be surprised if someone you trust stabs you in the back
Enough said.
5) Be willing to forgive…
These things being said btw… are my own experiences and thoughts.
We are each entitled to our own and everyone varies.
This is just what I have experienced personally…
Ok…
… I’m feeling as if this post is depressing now…
and boy is my grammar, spelling and whatever else english involved is terrible in this. But do we really think in perfect ways? :) this is just coming out as I think it. Imperfect and all.
This is my way of processing my thoughts today I suppose.
One of the questions asked in my last group meeting was…
“What was one of your biggest disappointments in life?”
We then had to draw a picture of that…
Have you ever thought about that sort of thing?
I hadn’t…
Brings up a lot of emotion.
I can honestly say Im not to the point where Id feel comfortable sharing that with many…
1 Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction;
pay attention and gain understanding.
2 I give you sound learning,
so do not forsake my teaching.
3 For I too was a son to my father,
still tender, and cherished by my mother.
4 Then he taught me, and he said to me,
“Take hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands, and you will live.
5 Get wisdom, get understanding;
do not forget my words or turn away from them.
6 Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.
7 The beginning of wisdom is this: Get[a] wisdom.
Though it cost all you have,[b] get understanding.
8 Cherish her, and she will exalt you;
embrace her, and she will honor you.
9 She will give you a garland to grace your head
and present you with a glorious crown.”
Proverbs 4:1-9
I’m learning a lot…
and even though it isn’t easy…
Putting on a smile helps…
The last thing I want is for my kids to see the struggle… even though I really do think they do. I can do my best regardless to make this time a happy time for them… and enjoy it in those ways.
We serve an awesome God
This video uplifted me so much! In the midst of our struggle, its hard sometimes to take our eyes off “ourselves” and what “bad” has happened or what “hurdles” we have to cross… yet we forget so easily what we are called to do!
Follow from Elevation Church on Vimeo.
“Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed. “
Isaiah 53:4-5
Boxes, boxes and more boxes
Figures in a house crammed full of boxes – my kids break out the BOX toy.
Yes, my kids beds are messy…
We will deal with chore establishment again once we move :) – Ive been slack!
Do you blame me?
You’d think these boys would be tired of boxes by now…
I guess not! :)
Oh yes, Caleb measured how tall it was – hes never caught without that.
Can you guess what happened next?
Owen found humor in it, the other two – not so much.
So they moved to Owens room to try again – and wow, is his room worse! :-\
As you can see the guest-bed has become box storage.
So yes… this is our home right now.
A BIG CRAZY MESS.
That I can honestly not wait to get out of.
We have a good bit left to do.
We have trash that needs to take a trip to the landfill – our trampoline needs taking down… – I have laundry to wash and put away in boxes, I have beds to rip down, orders to organize for clients, reviews and blog post to schedule (remember I am paid to do some of these post, so I have to have all my work done before the 10th) I have to do some minor cleaning, finish packing the kitchen, and then of course the big truck loading day on the 16th.
Its a lot.
Im trying to breathe throughout it all… and realize in a week we will be in our new home… although temporary – I know it will be a great time or renewal. & of course putting on a smile helps…
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Intro's are never easy for me. I guess because they force me to sum up myself and our lives into a short paragraph. As non-complex as I am, this is hard :) - so in short...
I am a daughter to a Savior, a wife to a Pastor... & a mother of 3 sweet, loud, adorable, charming, fun boys.... [read more....]
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