Drea Wood

Category Archives: parenting

No Discipline is enjoyable…

Written on 09/30/2011 by Dreawood in caleb, Owen, parenting, Taite

Now that we have settled into routine again, after moving from NC to GA. I feel like we have let our disciplining go a little to much. With moving, things are just out of sorts. Not just with your home… but what you are eating… when your kids are going to bed… how your kids are reacting to all the change, how your husband and yourself respond to each other… and so on. Add to that everything else being so different, its a lot.

So you can imagine when it comes to being consistent with disciplining we’re not as firm.

We realize though this is something you have got to work really hard not to become slack at.

Despite the changes.

I read this verse the other day and it has stuck with me….

“No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening — it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.” Hebrews 12:11

This is so true not only for our children but also as adults.

An area in particular we are working on right now… is whining…

I must say, I am SO OVER the whining.

From things like…

“Mama… can I have a cookie?”

and when told “no, not today”

you almost instantly get a “but why?!” in a whiny tone.

You all know exactly what I am talking about.

It frustrates me to no end!

My new friend down the road with the 7 kids (8th due soon!! eee!) – has a post about this. It was encouraging for me to read and very helpful. We are, like she says in her post “Nipping this in the bud!”

It has been one of those things that is sometimes difficult for me.

But I know it is what we need to do.

Our boys I do believe are well behaved (not perfect!)… but there are aspects in our parenting I know need improving. We have let the whining go to far… we have honestly spoiled our kids in many ways by saying “yes” to often… and while I think its good to say “yes” sometimes… it also is very wise to say “no” too, and if you read my friend post about it, you will see why.

So here is to disciplining better :)

Being consistent.

Even during the harder moments.

I want our household to be pleasant…

And not filled with WHINES.

*The above photo has very little to do with the post, I just thought it was cute :) – Its of our neighbors (Nichole) youngest Maleah with Owen – she is 21 mo, so very close to Owens age.*

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Tongue – Life and Death

Written on 06/20/2011 by Dreawood in caleb, motherhood, Owen, parenting, scripture, Taite

Today I read in a devotional this piece of scripture…

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Proverbs 18:21

I had never really though about this verse in any other way besides “the death” part… and how dangerous our tongues can be. How quickly we can lash out at someone and hurt them by just a few words… how fast we can yell or loose our cool with the kids, moments later regretting what we say.

The tongue is dangerous!
The Word is so clear about this.

But have we ever thought about how powerful the tongue can be and how we can use it for good too?

I love what T. Suzanne Eller says here…

“I wanted to tell him that I remembered when he was a little boy and he offered drive-by kisses as he ran past. I desired to tell him that when I was an exhausted mother to three toddlers his lopsided smile and Kermit the Frog belly laugh made me happy to be a mom.

I longed to tell him that I remembered when he walked behind me, trying to gain my attention with “Mom, Mom, Mama!” I wanted to share that I was sorry when I wasn’t as patient as I should have been.

Most of all I wanted to let him know how proud I was of him as a man and how I saw many of the same beautiful traits of his father emerging in him.

Why do we leave such precious words unsaid? Words that heal. Words that share the way we feel. Words that become treasures one day when words are all that remain.”

This for me was so convicting today.
As I had a rough monday, what is up with mondays?!
I didn’t start my morning right… I didnt ask for the Lord to help me to be patient, and it showed.
I lost my cool with the boys a few times… and spoke to them harshly.

It got me thinking about how often times I sit and think about how proud I am of my kids, yet many times don’t tell them. For example: Caleb is such an incredible big brother to Owen! Seriously… the other day Travis and I were talking about it… and we honestly would trust Caleb totally with Owen. Not that we’d ever leave the house for him to tend to him alone… but lets say I had to step to the rest room for a moment… Caleb I have no doubt would tend to Owen with his life.

So many times Owen will do something that scares him… and he has a genuine fear and concern in his voice towards these situations. He cares for him so much. I should praise Caleb for this more often…

Im so proud of him and thankful that he has a heart to take care of others… Even though he has his moments of aggravation and testing :) – he really is such a sweet child. Why leave those words unsaid?

So as I am speaking to myself, maybe this is encouraging someone else too… to Praise our Children more…

- Devotion snippet from 31 Ministries.

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Dirty Bathroom

Written on 06/17/2011 by Dreawood in caleb, house keeping, motherhood, parenting, Taite

While in the bathroom with my two older boys, I asked them to wash their hands. Caleb had just killed a fly (with his bare hands) and Taite, well, he always needs a good hand washing :) – while in there, Caleb proceeded to tell me with a very disrespectful and ungrateful tone…

“I wish we had a different bathroom.”

I asked him “Why?”

He said “Because ours isn’t clean enough.”

Mind you, the bathroom was not bad, it had been a week since I had cleaned it, but that is because we were out of town… and well, life happens. The flesh in me wanted so badly to lash out at Caleb. His tone was so ugly towards me when he said it… that all I could think of was “You ungrateful child” and I wanted to put him in his place right there, with a sharp sentence and harsh look.

The Lord must of been working in me that very moment though… and instead of lashing out, I said “you know what Caleb… follow me” – I then proceeded to take him to our bedroom, where the computer is – and googled “Dirty Bathroom” – I asked him to shut his eyes, in fear of what images may come up with the word “dirty” in the search phrase… While him and his brother sat there with their eyes shut, I brought up a few various photos of messy toilets and bathtubs…. and then simply asked Caleb “Do you think our bathroom is dirty now?”

He looked at me and shook his head.

I then went even deeper into our conversation and began to talk to him about those who do not have homes… those who have to use the bathroom in a nearby gas station or behind a dumpster. I then googled “homeless children” and showed him and Taite countless photos of children without a home.

A photo of a child holding a blanket over his head for protection … and told them “that is his roof“… he has no home.

I talked to them about how some children don’t have beds…
No toys…
No food…
No TV…
No clean clothes….
and so on.

I stressed how blessed we are… and how we should be so very thankful the Lord has provided us with a home and a working bathroom.

Our conversation went from dirty bathrooms…
to home less, to then the amount of work it takes for me to keep a house clean.

I listed so many things I can’t even remember… I think often times children don’t realize the amount of work their mother does. I know I didn’t as a kid! I spat off so many task I even began to think “wow, how do I keep up” HAHA… its a lot!

Caleb and Taite listened very well… and were pretty much speechless… Caleb had tears welling up in his eyes, I could tell this was hitting him. I then took it to the last step, and told Caleb I wanted him to see how much work it takes to clean a bathroom… and I directed him on how to clean the bath tub and shower, the toilet and counter top/sink area. The entire time he never once complained… and did it with a very humbled attitude…

Afterwards he said “I need to tell Daddy about this.”

So… despite it taking effort to go through all of this with my kids… and the process of showing Caleb to properly clean the bathroom, was tedious and took twice as long as It would had I done it myself… I think the experience and things talked about were something they both needed to really hear.

It also helped me realize that I need to enforce chores more.

Our kids do minimal chores.

Make Beds.
Put Clothes away.
Put dishes up
Clean up toys in their room, the living room and Owens room.
Take out Trash (smaller bags)
Tidy up the School room
Feed the Cat

but that is really about it…

They could do far more!

I would love to find a good chore chart. Anyone have one?

*updated: I made a cute chore chart for the boys. Thanks Kellie for the inspiration :) – These are pdf file so I can open them in photoshop and change the chores from week to week with a click of a button. The “clip art” can also be changed if the boys want that switched up as well.

Also Valerie linked to a good list of chores for kids around age 6… I may tweak this chart a wee bit as the days pass, to see how it works – but for now I think its cute. We will use simple CHECK MARKS or sticks to put in place of it being done.*

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Comes along once

Written on 06/11/2011 by Dreawood in caleb, motherhood, Owen, parenting, Taite

This past tuesday I missed out on our ladies bible study night – since we were out of town. I hate I missed it!! It was on a great chapter in the book we are going through – talking about Priorities.

Aliesha did a write up about it HERE…. A quote however that really spoke volumes to me was…

“It is true that many “perfect jobs” may come and go during the child-rearing years, but only one will absolutely never come along again–the job of rearing your own children and allowing them the increasingly rare opportunity to grow up at home.” – Dorothy Patterson

I love that the Lord has given me the chance to be a stay at home mom. While I do work some on the side, my children come 1st. I wont lie in saying I have dreams involving my career… Some days I dream of becoming a famous (hah!) destination wedding photographer, traveling all over the world… and even though I think that be fun… and a great experience – it just isn’t the time for it right now.

The Lord has given me such a strong calling to stay with my children right now… to pour into them. So while Id like to pour into my business, it can wait.

The quote above is SO TRUE…

I understand not everyone can be a stay at home mom… but if you can work your budget to allow it, by all means DO IT… I dont think theres one stay at home mom that would ever say she regrets spending those early years with her children.

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Slow down

Written on 04/22/2011 by Dreawood in caleb, Owen, parenting, scripture, struggles, Taite

This week, I believe it was wednesday… I had a total loose it moment.
After 2 days being away from home… Monday at an all day session (pretty much) – and then Tuesday traveling to a city an hour 1/2 away to pick up our new kitchen table… resulted in my home getting trashed… It was so out of order and I was so behind on so many things… that the pressures of what all I had to do just got to me.

Im sure im not alone in those days…
The demands we have as mothers can be so much.
Between schooling the kids…
Preparing meals for the family…
Running errands…
Doing laundry, oh my goodness, laundry – I really cant seem to love it, but I don’t hate it ;-)
Spending time with our husbands…. I cant be alone in my struggle to really devote lots of time to this, after all – once the kids are in bed, I am done – all I want to do is relax, veg out and sleep! Or most nights I send my time catching up on work I have left to do. I know though they deserve our devotion too.

I don’t think there is a single passing moment when I don’t have something pressing on me to do… yet I often times put it off, in order to get some me time.

None the less… I read a devotional today on one of my fav websites… and I loved it so much I thought id post it here…

The original post comes from Proverbs 31 Ministries. LOVE LOVE LOVE their site, book mark it and visit it daily, kay? :)

……

“Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’” Matthew 19:14 (NIV)

I admit it. I’m the world’s worst when it comes to preserving photos. I have boxes of photos stacked in various cubbyholes. I tried to organize the pictures once. I divided them and placed them in large envelopes. My next step was to put them in albums. They are still in the envelopes — stacked in a box.

My children Melissa, Ryan, and Leslie are now in their 20?s and newly married. The chances of me ever getting these precious memories organized are slim to none, but I’m realizing something powerful. Memories aren’t limited to pictures.

Remember when, Mom? is a common phrase in my house now. We have become the hub, a privilege once reserved for my husband’s parents. At holidays and special weekends, they drive up and unload luggage and pile into the guest rooms. We laugh and reminisce a lot around the table. Remember when we went on treasure hunts in the pasture? Remember when you jumped on the bed and popped Ryan up in the air so high it scared you? Remember that yellow Slip-n-Slide™?

I do remember. But I also remember a young mom with three little ones who worried that her house wasn’t spotless when an unexpected guest showed up. I remember the angst of trying to do everything and the fatigue when my day ended before my chores did.

I also remember days that I threw caution to the wind and jumped on the bed, even though it might make others frown. I grabbed a shovel and gave the kids plastic buckets and we looked for old bottles and trinkets at the abandoned homestead nearby. We mixed dishwashing liquid and water and I laughed out loud as the kids flew like greased lightening across the yellow slippery slide.

Some of those memories were captured in that pre-digital age, but most were not. However, they are etched on the heart of my young adult children.

What they don’t reminisce about is the sweet, sweet smell of PineSol™. Whether my house was perfect or how it compared to others’ is not even on their radar.

Why did I worry so?

Is it good to have order and structure? Sure. But don’t allow the pressure to be the perfect mom keep you from the simplicity of playing with your children. The unmade bed will still be there when you are through, but I promise that a child will grow quickly.

Take a moment today and look past the clutter and the to-do list and be a child again. It might not be a picture-perfect moment, but it will be a memory.

Dear Lord, time passes so fast. Slow me down. Let me enjoy the smallest pleasures. Let me play with my child instead of only knocking down a to-do list. Let me laugh with my teen instead of fussing at him. Thank You for sweet memories, Amen.

Author: T. Suzanne Eller

and… since I know I love to see other moms homes with some mess ;-) – seriously does my heart good. I loved that a few weeks ago I went to my friend Shannon’s house and there were clothes in a pile, suitcases along the wall and toys on the floor. It did me good! I always thought her house was perfect :)

So heres my mess for the day… and just think… this is missing 2 loads of laundry, one in the dryer, one in the wash as well as the cloth diapers. NOW THAT IS A LOT…. My kids ran out of underwear too :) – this will be what I tackle tonight.

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