Raise your hands if you have moments where you feel you are in “The Funk.” – you know those moments you walk by your bathroom mirror and take a glance and your like “Gahh….” A brief moment where you feel you have totally let yourself go, which is ridiculous to think sometimes – but still the same, a moment of “I am in such a funk.” – moment. Some of y’all may know what I am talking about.
I am kind of in that Funk.
My hair looks like a helmet – looking at it depresses me. I knew this would be the process Id have to endure after donating it. Still doesn’t make it any less mullet or helmet-ish. It is what it is, but the growing phase from like month 3-5 of growing out a pixie, is far from pleasurably. ~_~ – moving on.
I have had no spare time to give to “myself” personally. I think I wear make up like twice a week… and by make up I mean mineral make up (so nothing heavy). I did a recent job for a upscale salon in Atlanta a few weeks ago and felt like a total out sider with my helmet head and unpainted face. Not to mention I was dressed like a covered nun compared to some of the women here. Doesn’t mean I wanted to “be uncovered” – but in some brief moments I kept thinking “I am so out of it.” lol and “wow I need to go on What not to Wear and have a total make over.”
I hate those feelings. I have found over the years I have gained a confidence I never had or maybe I did have but just didn’t care enough to show it. I find confidence in my ability as a mother… home maker… chef :) – photographer… I hate how the world can bog you down with these feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness compared to others.
Makes me want to start some sort of group for moms – or something.
To preach about my “not owning any lip stick” or something haha….
Alright, so yes. I feel a bit in “The Funk” right now and thats ok… at least I realize it.
I think part of it has to do with carrying so much.
Baby Reed if some of you didn’t learn in a few post down, has The Croup as well as a double ear infection. It was scary but is now leveling out thankfully. As we sat in the living room (we being me and my other dudes), my oldest asked me “Why is Reed always so sick” – and it got me thinking about it more and he really has been sick a lot. I would say out of all my children he has been the most prone to sickness.
I don’t know if this has something to do with the fact he was a “2 vessel cord” baby – and is lacking something he needed to build his immune system…
I do know that my inability to produce breastmilk for him probably didn’t help… but I have come to grasp with the fact I physically could not help that… and when you can’t help a situation you have to learn Trust the father with it.
With his inability to nurse I was faced with the scary world of formula… don’t even get me started on how upsetting it makes me to think of all the GMO’s they put into our babies food…. makes me livid.
Reed on top of it all has been my hardest to get to eat food. HE has some food sensitivities and refuse any puree’ type food. Even yummy puree’s, like yogurt or apple sauces. He doesn’t want anything smooth to eat.
With only a few teeth it makes it limiting what he can eat… and what he does like texture wise he is still very picky taste wise as well.
Reed has low iron, it was an 8 last time we were at the Dr… and she said he should be around a 12.
As I try to get him off formula I have had battles with yeast infections on him… to the point he had to run around diaper free for days…
It could simply be because he is in a house hold full of 3 other brothers who are active and touching germs and bringing them into our home… and even though their bodies are able to fight it off (I can’t remember the last time they were sick), his is not strong enough yet and so he gets it all.
**note: Not sure whats going on with his pajamas in that photo hahaha…**
I am thankful that now that this croup cold seems to be leveling out… Reed did eat supper last night… and he has drunk some. He is on the upswing hopefully… With him being so prone to illness though it honestly makes you never want to put him in to a grocery cart…. a park swing… nursery… it makes you want to always wear him close, never placing him where a germ may be.
Then again his body has to build an immunity some how… and I think colds are just a part of that… I just hate he is being thrown so many so often in just 1 year.
I will be praying protection of his lil bod… and hoping and praying we avoid much more of these colds throughout the cold winter.
In other news, we still have the cat. For now his name is “Yoda” (we aren’t thrilled about his star wars name but its kinda stuck) It was his shelter name they had him listed as… but he as we were told was never owned, so we are assuming they gave him this name. It may or may not change. Ive kinda sorta mentioned some about him. Quick summary.
We rescued him from being euthanized at the Animal Shelter. We went in looking for a dog and came out with a cat hah. Doesn’t make sense. My husband hates cats but I had a soft spot for this one since he looked like my childhood cat Oliver. He had been there since June so he was up next in line for when they euthanized a handful of the animals at the shelter. I just couldn’t let him die. Suckered me in! So we got him but had issues with him from the get go. I had allergies to him, he had intestinal issues going on… but after a few weeks.. we got him on a grain free cat food – I keep my distance and use allergy wipes on his every now and then… and we seem good to go now. Caleb is trained to clean the litter box (so nice hah), and our boys absolutely adore him. So he’s staying. For now :) – if he starts pooping on the floor or clawing the furniture he’s gone. So far he is good in those areas ;-) – honestly one of the most chill cats ever.
& Travis btw has completely warmed up to him and takes photos of all the weird places he falls asleep. So I think even though he won’t admit it to me, he really does like this cat. Probably because he doesn’t act like any cat we’ve ever met. :)
He loves the IKEA rat the boys had in their room.
Oh and its 4:37am, what is up with that! Reed got up about an hour ago and I am up writing a blog post, replying to emails… and hoping to fall back to sleep before the kids wake. Here is to making “today” less “Funk-ish.” or “Embracing The Funk” for all it is. haha…
Thanks btw for the comments you all post here… I read every single one of them!! I just don’t have the time to reply to any right now. Hope everyone understands…. but I do greatly love reading them and they encourage me throughout my day. So keep them coming!