Drea Wood

Category Archives: struggles

Gathering thoughts – What is next?

Written on 05/06/2013 by Dreawood in family, ministry, random, struggles

It seems like its been ages since I actually posted a blog post with some real thought put into it. :)
The move and the birth of our 4th, among other things…. seem to have pushed the ability to blog away. Which is fine. There are seasons where this happens….

Our life right now is so busy and full of adjustments still.

Travis’ job is hard.

Between dealing with high risk situations, drugs, suicides, death and very late nights… not to mention the incredible amt of material he is having to learn and memorize with this new job… his ability to pour into us right now is difficult… which I am understanding about… but its never easy either. Hoping that all levels out soon. He realizes it, so that is always good. Its just learning to find new balance that takes time.

Between that, we are still unpacking boxes… finishing up the cleaning of our former home…

and at the same time organizing my business… which is so busy right now (Thankful but overwhelmed)….

Home schooling is on HOLD for a few weeks… as we figure things out and we have hopes of starting our new year in schooling this year earlier, July probably… so that we can take off some time this fall for a vacation…. maybe.

The transition into our new home has gone smoothly, I think… but we also greatly miss our former neighbors and as of now our new neighbors aren’t exactly “lovely….” – Lets just say, we will not be close and I am thankful their house is listed for sale. Enough said? :) Kay. You want to “love” those type of people and pray for their soul… but at the same time, it sure is hard… and a big part of you just wants them gone. Lets pray for their soul and a quick sale? ;-)

Travis and I will be graduating from the program we are in at our church.

I had debated if I should put it out there, what this program actually is… and after much thought I am totally convinced HIDING it any longer is pointless. I believe in being an open book and what we go through will ultimately in the end hopefully bless others and be a tool in ministry.

As many of you know, who have followed this blog for the last few years… you know that my husband resigned as Senior Pastor at our former church, West End Baptist in NE NC. You can read his resignation HERE.

He was asked to leave the church… for no real “biblical” reason… To elaborate he had deacons telling him they wish he didnt wear jeans… they wish he didn’t preach messages that “offended” people…. and that any problem ultimately was “HIS FAULT” even things that were not even related to what he did. Yea, it was pretty sad.

We found out later the church had a history of firing their pastors every few years… and while we do not know all the background information regarding all the situations before us… we do know that the reasoning for them wanting Travis’ gone, was not right… and I believe firmly they are reaping what they sow because of it. Which breaks our heart at the same time because we truly love and miss many of the people there…..

That being said. What seemed like such a BAD thing at the time… being kicked to the curb and left to find a way out… was in the end a great blessing.

We got into a program called City of Refuge at First Baptist Church Woodstock…. close to Atlanta, GA.

Lets just say… 100′s of Pastors apply every year… and for 2011 we were one of the last families chosen for that year… and I believe at the time they only had 9 families in the program. So to get in is huge…. at least for us it was.

They basically provided us a home… a refuge… a safe place… counsel…. community…. and the ability to be real… genuine and vulnerable for the 1st time EVER…. and as a Pastor and Pastors wife this was huge.

Here is a snippet off the church website that sums up what City of Refuge is:

Pastor Johnny observed, ” Christians are sometimes the worst about shooting their own wounded and then leaving them in the field to bleed to death.” He wanted the Body at First Woodstock to be different. He envisioned a ministry that would enable hurting ministers and their families to find hope and healing and so the City of Refuge Ministry was born.

To often in ministry the Pastor and his family are held to such high esteem, that you cant be real… at least that is how many churches make it… you have to uphold this “image” of perfection and strength… that being genuine to the people can be difficult. As a Pastors wife I felt very alone…. even though every sunday I was surrounded by people… I did not feel at home and I did not feel I was able to be myself…. even though I was in ways…. but in many ways I was not.

I hated the way we had to dress…. and how ritualistic our worship felt…. I felt trapped at times in our church… and what people found important drove me nuts….

Any how… we are all imperfect people with our own “stuff” – but one thing I wish those in the church would realize… especially these older baptist churches… is that their Pastor and his wife…. and their kids… are “normal” and “wounded” people too….

City of Refuge has changed our lives.

We are so thankful for it.

Our time in the program is drawing to an end soon…

I am going to miss it!!

… but at the same time I am so thankful for the journey through it… and thankful we are able to stay here for hopefully a very long time ;-) – but then again, you never know!

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In the house!

Written on 04/21/2013 by Dreawood in struggles

Well, if you haven’t noticed via Instagram (@dreawood) or facebook/twitter… we have moved into our new home! We didn’t plan to do it so quickly… but once we started packing things up and organizing move trucks, helpers, etc… we realized it would be better for us and the kids, to just get it over with. We thankfully have the flexibility to go back to our old home and clean up, get a few strangling items, etc… we hope to have everything done by May 1st… “hope” being the “keyword.” :)

The move has gone well so far…. although I am so exhausted!! This has probably been the hardest move on me physically. Even though I remember the other moves being a lot more stressful with having to move in one day… since most of our former moves were to new states :) – but with a few of our moves I was pregnant… so I didnt have to do as much… and also I had much less on me. With this move I am not pregnant, so obviously I have to help more ;-) – I have 4 kids to manage, one that does not sleep through the night consistently… so that adds to my tiredness… and this time around my husband can’t take off work, so I am doing a lot of the parenting/unpacking alone… and when Travis is home, he has lots of “honey-do” jobs on the list… it honestly feels like we have had no free time in weeks… I look forward to getting everything done and enjoying our time together with “less on our plate” soon.

I also took on A LOT of photography work this month. A 3 day shoot for BOBA. So fun but very busy too… a few other portrait sessions in the mix and also a birthday party. I am booked out for sure.

… and to add… on the day we got the keys to the house, we had a scare with baby Reed…. and while I am hating I have to even write about this… I feel responsible to share…. and hopefully it is taken with grace and no harm has been done elsewhere. Baby Reed started his home made formula well over a month ago and seemed totally fine on it. If you missed the post, you would have seen that I got the recipe from a Holistic Doctor who’s wife used this recipe with her own son from 6 months – age 3… and never once had a problem. Her son is healthy as a horse… so I felt confident to use it and things went well…. at first.

During the BOBA session’s my mom/dad were in town watching baby Reed for me, as well as the other boys (since Travis had to work)… and Reed began to show some irritation to the formula. He threw up like once a day…. and was having really big poo’s…. unusually big and loose. I was so tied up working though that I didn’t really think to much of it, since he seemed happy other wise… and was able to keep some bottles down with no problem at all.

Come Monday though, when I was home alone with him… I just began to notice he felt super small… and did not look well. That afternoon he drank a full bottle and then threw it up…. at that moment, after feeling his frailness and seeing him throw up an entire bottle again… I knew something was no right… and called Travis. While on the phone with him I tried to then feed Reed some “normal formula” that I had on hand… and he proceeded to drink it… got 3 ounces down and than threw up again… he then refused to drink at all. He seemed lethargic and irritable…. and it scared the heck out of me.

Travis called into his work and took the day off so that he could be there for me and Reed… and we got a sitter to watch the other boys.

We then made our way to the Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta…. now heres the thing… I knew deep down it was something in the formula. Reed did not have a fever and he did not act as if he had a virus. Also if it had been a virus I know without a doubt we would have suffered it elsewhere in the family… but no one else ever got sick. So going into the Doctors office… I was planning to avoid the whole “homemade formula” area…. as I knew had I told them that, he would have been rushed off for a lot of testing… because in all honesty, Doctors have to cover their tail and not risk anything, if something is unconventional or done differently with a baby… I knew my baby and I just wanted to make sure he was not dehydrated… and that was the ONLY reason I wanted to go in…. to get fluid in him…. since he would not drink or keep any thing down.

The Dr’s did some blood work (so horrible btw… his veins are tini tiny like mine…. was not easy to get blood from him). His blood work came back perfect and they said he was not dehydrated as of then. They did however want to give him some anti-nausea meds to help him keep some fluid down. While at the Doctor we tried giving him more formula (regular), and he threw it up again… so the meds were just an easier option than IV fluid. With the medicine he was able to keep down 4 ounces of electrolytes… and after he kept it down for the duration of our time there, they felt comfortable sending him home with a few more doses of the medicine… and a strict rule of “if he throws up again” come into the hospital. Reed was also weighed at the Doctor’s while there as well…. and he had lost almost two pounds :(

Thank the Lord he did not throw up any more…. and since Monday he has been throw up and runny poo free. We have had to put him back on normal formula… within 6 days on normal formula Reed has gained a pound or more back… and is happy, smiley… and thriving just fine.

I honestly have no idea why the home made formula I made him was not doing it… It makes no sense to me… but for some reason his body was not able to retain the nutrients from that formula.

Within it all, I really battled severe mommy guilt… all we want as mothers is the best for our babies… and I constantly battle guilt over not being able to nurse my children… and I was so excited to find a healthier alternative to commercial formula… so when that didn’t work, those same feelings of sadness covered me… and I was a mess… just looking at photos of baby Reed so thin crushed me.

I also worried about other mothers out there who saw my post and may be trying the recipe themselves as well… I had a sense of guilt there too… but how was I to know it wasn’t working?…. when a very reliable source and mother as well, used it with her son and succeeded greatly.

In the end. I am just so thankful for options…. and even though I am ticked at the fact almost every formula out there has GMO’s and other crap in them… I am thankful for the science behind formula. It saves so many babies lives… and while it will never ever come close to matching the greatness of breastmilk… it has been a source of life for my boys and for that I am thankful….

I am so sorry for any moms who may have invested in the home made formula. You are welcome to keep trying it, as it is possible it may have just been something in Reed not allowing him to process the formula properly? …. but I couldn’t not speak up, since I did share it.

Now… to the house.

I love it :)

It is so so nice. Truly a great house!! While there are things I would change about it, if I could re-design it, I will say that 95% of it, I love :) and am so thankful for the Lord providing it. We are more than thrilled with it.

My kitchen and living room space is my favorite. It is so beautifully lit. It has wall to wall windows! The morning light that comes in is just gorj…. and the open kitchen is a dream.

I love our backyard as well… our boys love the creek!! Although I have learned that both neighbors beside us, do not allow their children to play in it, because of snakes. I hope they don’t mind us to much, because Im not to worried about snakes. We grew up playing in a creek ALL DAY LONG… and I think we saw a snake maybe twice? The only time we saw poisonous ones were under things like my dad’s shed. If there’s anything I am concerned about, its poison ivy :) – because I remember very well getting that A LOT as a child… not fun.

Hopefully we can rub off on our neighbors and show them its totally cool to play in a creek, especially for little boys ;-) who like dirt, rocks and getting messy.

We greatly miss our old neighbors… and our glorious view as well… but are so thankful that this move only took us about 8 minutes from them ;-) – so we can easily keep in touch and stay close.

Wednesday our internet will be back up and running. I posted this blog using my iphone wifi signal, it finally worked! Once our internet is up ill upload photos ;-)

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I use to be anti-organic….

Written on 03/17/2013 by Dreawood in eco-friendly, food, struggles

Isn’t it funny how years change people? Obviously looks change… I can look at my own photos and see that. Although sometimes, years do not create change… especially if we don’t want it.

Years ago… I would say about 6? around the time Taite was born…. I remember thinking those who purchased organic products were buying into a fad…. and that it was a waste of money.

I remember commenting on peoples blogs who were all into organic living, questioning the wisdom in it, because it “was more expensive.”

I for years had a small “nift” with those who forked out extra cash for things I felt were a waste…. and I remember thinking “I don’t have the time for that…. or the money… so why try.”

Funny how time… and age I suppose, changes things.

I now am learning the great importance that comes with living a healthy life style and that to do so, it does involve time… and yes, more money… but its something well worth budgeting for.

It has taken me 6 years to realize this…. and while I want to shake many and help them see what I see… I realize and completely understand that this is a process…. and sometimes this process takes a long time…. and you know what… THAT IS OK.

I am finding that putting this out there, is important however… and while I know many who read my “eco-ish” facebook updates… or instagram photos, may roll their eyes… or think “there’s no way….” to maybe realize, that there are ways… even if you feel there is not.

Over the last few years we have made moderate changes to our diet…. while I considered myself a pretty healthy eater personally… I relied heavily on convenient foods for my family, as well as eating out. I remember using the cheaper price tag to justify buying it. I remember priding myself in being able to keep my grocery bill under a couple hundred a month… and thinking “Im being an awesome steward!“… but what about being a steward to our bodies?…. a temple that God gave us to take care of.

The cold hard truth.

Eating real food will cost more.

Yup.

It does.

…. but

It is worth it.

I just want to encourage those starting their journey in this… to hang with it…. seek wisdom from those who have done this far longer… I DO all the time… and to take baby steps.

Start with one thing…. and grow from that.

I also would like to echo what I said a few weeks ago…. if you have $2.99, rent Genetic Roulette on Amazon Prime, and watch it!

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Sovereign Trust

Written on 02/04/2013 by Dreawood in struggles

I am sure any mother out there or wife really, has at one point dealt with the possible fear of loosing their spouse. Im not sure if it is because my husband’s job is now very dangerous… I mean the man straps on a bullet proof vest when he leaves the house now… or because I feel as if we have been so blessed that there is a small fear of something going wrong because we have been so showered with grace. I know those fearful thoughts don’t come from the Lord… and we should never live in a state of fear… but I wont lie, there are days I struggle with thoughts of my boys not having their dad around.

It especially hits me when I see them play together. While some days the noise level of their “wrestling” gets on my nerves… on certain days, I am so thankful for the incredible relationship they have. I think a strong relationship for boys with their father is so important!

I do pray they will have it for the rest of their “childhood” and even longer.

It is one of those things that you learn to have a sovereign trust… in knowing the Lord has numbered our days… and that He does care for us. It also compels me to pray for my children’s salvation… because even though we are never promised another day here…. we are promised an eternity together.

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Spoiled

Written on 12/24/2012 by Dreawood in caleb, Owen, random, Reed, struggles, Taite

I suppose this will be a downer type of Christmas post…. but its weighing on me VERY heavily this morning.

We have always tried to keep our Christmas’ simple… wanting the boys to grow up really knowing what Christmas was about… but obviously still wanting to keep it fun and enjoy giving them some gifts as well. Its a hard balance between what “society” does… and what you really do want to do… in order to instill things into your children that will last.

I will admit we have not done a great job with that lately… I have tried to justify it with the fact our lives have been a tad busy… with pregnancy, bed rest, new job schedules, COR church stuff, having a newborn….etc..etc… but really feel we’ve let the ball drop and I know because of that our kids this year have been incredibly selfish and spoiled.

Yes…. I just openly admitted my kids are way spoiled this year… and have had the most ungrateful spirit I have ever seen from them.

Complaints over gifts they get… discontentment and wanting MORE.

This morning I let it get the best of me and honestly had a hard time even looking at my kids! I was just so frustrated with how they were acting. I actually wanted to take every Christmas gift we got for them back to the store.

.. but … I think if anything this is being used to really teach me the importance of teaching our children… and I think a big thing we will strive to do better in the future, is to SHOW them how to serve… SHOW them those who have so much less…. SHOW them how thankful they should be for what they do have.

I want them to learn to serve… and minister to others. To see the importance in more than just toys… and gifts. I was telling Travis how I wish tonight we could go serve at a homeless shelter or orphanage…. I think it impact our children greatly… If Travis was not working the next two days, we would. It is something I am looking into for the new year… and praying we can really begin to teach our children the value of investing in others… instead of always being focused on “themselves.”

Not sure if any of this made sense…

It was “that” kind of morning… The two older boys are in separate rooms after bickering… the baby is asleep and Travis and Owen went out to get a few last minute things we needed (eggs, creamer… that sorta stuff). Im just trying to use this moment of silence to collect myself…. and try to see past the flesh not only in my children but in myself as well.

Now… to end on a more positive note…

Are the boys not cute in their Christmas Jammies? Theres just something so fun about dressing them up in fresh Jammies on Christmas Eve.

I am so thankful for how the Lord has provided for us this year! That we are all healthy… and together this Christmas… so many are not. Our boys are a true blessing to us… and I honestly cant imagine Christmas Day without them… Its hard to even remember what Christmas was like before them.

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