Category Archives: travis

Marriage is so much more than “surviving”  it

Marriage is so much more than “surviving” it

IMG_Family_Portrait_Atlanta_GA-1787Yesterday Travis and I celebrated our 12 year Anniversary. Although today is “technically” it :)

We don’t ever really do much for our anniversary… having kids right off the bat and moving so often, has made our ability to travel or do “really big” things a bit hard. In fact with our 10 year anniversary I had hopes of traveling some place but Reed was a newborn and he was freshly out of the Police Academy, so that just did not happen. It is what it is and either way, I am thankful for each year. Each one brings its joys and challenges but each one brings us closer.

Travis surprised me this year by taking off yesterday. I had no idea. He was suppose to be at work. I got up kind of early yesterday. Took a shower… got dressed… had some quiet time… then when I went downstairs Taite wanted help on the computer starting a game… so I sat down with him in the school room to do this. While I was in there helping him I heard dishes being put away… but I didn’t think much of it. I figured Caleb was being extra sweet and decided to start on chores early.

Well, after I got Taite’s game going, I went into the kitchen only to see Travis in there with Caleb :) and a stack of gifts and big vase of roses. He got me :) – which for him is hard to do haha.

He then had me open a letter he wrote and I thought it be fun to post it here, so I can remember it and look back on it, if by some chance I lose the copy he gave me. Im typically not one to tear up easily over things like this but this one got me. He admits its a bit silly but it was still so so sweet.

He was hesitant for me to post this :) – but told me I could if I wanted… for my own memory sake.
He doesn’t claim to be a poet at all. To me while this may seem kinda simple… it means more than any gift ever could.

Twelve Wonderful Years

A farm boy sent to the big city whoever would have known,

That while there God would bring the woman

Who would be his very own.



She was a student while a youth intern I came to be

Thrown together by God’s perfect plan

But unbeknowst to us for at least 9 months plus 3



She really stood out, so different from all the rest,

Artsy and quiet, with her sweet sixteen smile

I never would have known, that for me, she would be God’s very best.



I left that summer really quite ignorant of this person I would grow to love

But in the months that followed,

I began to see more deeply this beautiful person sent from heaven above.



Through the use of computers, messaging, and email

and technology known only to the modern age

We talked and shared extensively, learning that on many things, we were on the same page.



A whole year went by before I would see her… and then

Coming in with the choir, so elegant and stunning,

I was blown away by her beauty when I saw her for the very first time… again



Now eighteen and finally legal (hahaha…), no more must I wait

To Charlotte once more I came

To ask this sweet young lady on our very first date.



It started in the mountains on a road trip for the whole day

Amidst the beauty of God’s wonderful creation

We talked and giggled like nervous school children until night had come our way.



I would drive to Charlotte, to Raleigh she would come

So many miles we would put on our cars

Our parents thought we were nuts, but we didn’t care, we were having fun.



Until the day came in the summer of 2002

When for certain I knew

she was the one I had hoped and prayed would someday say “I do.”



A more gorgeous bride there never has been than my beauty all dressed in white

I will never forget that special day

When I received God’s precious gift with oh so much great delight.

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Four boys, eight moves, and many chuches later how greatly blessed I am today

Twelve wonderful years and counting

To still be with my darling dear, forever and always to stay.


It hasn’t always been easy, quiet challenging for both of us at times

But blessed, changed, and more tightly bound are we

Christ making the sweetest lemonade from all our lemons and limes.


And so to close this little poem with one verse more I write

A pale comparison I know it is

To return to you, which I daily receive, oh so much love, joy, warmth, and delight!


For my devoted and loving wife on our 12th Anniversary

Travis

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Before I end this post… while ending it on his poem would be perfect I think… I just wanted to end with a few words of encouragement to couples out there who may be in the midst of struggle.

Travis and I have never done things perfectly.

We went into marriage honestly a bit blind. We were young and “obsessed” :) with each other… I think often with young love, you get caught up in it and don’t think to far. You just know how you feel “at that moment” and you believe with all your heart that you will break the mold. You will be that couple who never has real issues. That couple who has perfect kids who you vow to never “talk negatively about” to your friends haha… you vow all these things that you truly cannot understand or predict, until you live it.

Travis and I got little to know marriage counseling.
I was 19, he was 25. We loved each other and that is all that matter at the moment.

Marriage is God ordained and amazing… but it cannot be amazing if you do not communicate… and to often in our marriage we didn’t communicate… and we built up walls towards each other.

I look back on it and these walls were built without us even really knowing it… and just years of years of not knowing how to communicate “well” with each other, really hindered our marriage.

So to all the newlyweds out there… or the soon to be married couples… or maybe even the person reading this who may be married and has been married for years but feels as if their marriage is at the breaking point.

Know that marriage is worth fighting for… but it takes two. If you are having problems in your marriage, never feel ashamed to seek counseling. When Travis and I moved to Georgia we went through a year 1/2 of professional counseling. Not only as individuals but as a couple! It was awkward… and hard… I remember at times thinking it was so pointless and so stupid… but it wasn’t. The Lord was able to use our counselor to really teach us about each other in a way we hadn’t really seen… because we were to busy proving our own points or making our own assumptions.

If you want my honest opinion. Every couple should seek counseling around year 7 of marriage, regardless if they feel they need it or not HAHA… cause it really did make that huge of a difference for us.

Would we have survived without it… probably.

… but marriage is so much more than “surviving” it.

So to my amazing husband of 12 years. I love you. I know without a doubt, I am a blessed woman.
Many women would love to have a man as thoughtful and caring as you are to me.
Just know that and stay humble :) hehe

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