Today we dealt with a sick little baby, again.
We know the reason Owen has been battling so many colds, is due to the large amount of children he comes in contact with at our church. This church is 10x the size of our former church, so you can imagine the exposure of germs being up there. I could let it bother me, thinking about people bringing their sick kids to church, but I am trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, in hopes they just didn’t know their kids were sick… which I sure can happen. Or should I say, didn’t know their kids were contagious…
Either way, Owens been miserable today :(
He stayed at about 100.5 temp all day, so not to bad – but he was really stuffy. I don’t think he ate anything really, except for a bite or two of an apple, piece or two of a brownie (yes he even turned down sweets!), and a spoonful of yogurt. He basically lived off the bottle today. Which is fine.
It has been a long, yet productive day. I think? :)
Now that the kids are in bed, I really just want to lay in bed & watch Flash Point with Travis. Great show btw :)
Tomorrow Travis will be gone all day… for an interview.
Might mean a possible job??? We can only hope.
Our severance runs out the end of this month.
That in itself brings some emotion.
For some reason this weekend I was missing our home. Again. But in a different way.
I miss our big yard… while there, I hated the openness of it, here I miss it. Funny how that works. I miss my laundry line, our sweet neighbor Mrs. Madeline who our boys adored, I miss my friends, the small town feel, although I honestly do love being in a larger city… theres just parts of it you miss. I miss just our routine of how things were… but know what is to come is going to be amazing.
I fight feelings these days of bitterness towards those who were so hurtful. Who have NO CLUE. I often times want to defend myself, and make known so much. I have such a tugging in me to stay angry with those who did such wrong towards our family… especially towards my husband… and I would be lying if I told you I was never tempted to write a letter or two expressing my anger… but I know these feelings of hatred and wrath are so far from where Christ wants me!
“For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. 12 Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother’s were righteous. 13 Do not be surprised, my brothers and sisters,[b] if the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death. 15 Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.
16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” – 1 John 3:11-16
Does it upset me to think of what has happened?
Absolutely…
Would I have chosen this?
Probably not.
Even though there was so much about our former situation I did not like, I was very content and happy with our lives there… it was so sad to see it taken away.
But I know to be angry…
To hate.
To think evil against those who were supposed brothers and sisters in Christ (although it makes you wonder), is wrong of me.
It is just such evidence of my own sinful nature at work… but thank the Lord for his grace and mercy.
At the end of day… as my kids are tucked safely in bed… and I look around at a beautiful home… despite all of whats happened… it could be so much worse, despite the hardship, the Lord is so good. He is faithful. He is providing our every need. Teaching us so much!! Through the amazing preaching from our Pastor, to the worship (wow, let me tell you, so freeing!!! The music and leadership makes you want to move, its probably the most free Ive ever felt in church), to the ladies bible study I just joined (thanks to this sweet friend), to the amazing neighbor the Lord has provided me with, who I see becoming very close to. A great network of other Pastors and their wives who are struggling as well, but through the groups the Lord provides healing. My continuing friendships in NC, despite the distance… for the ability to focus on our marriage and not the ministering of others, The Lord is doing a great work… and for that I am so humbled.
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2